A Man's Revenge
by user needs a username
Summary: A man seeking revenge on the State, crashes the train Edward and Alphonse are traveling on. While investigating the engine something goes wrong and Edward loses something he didn't know was so important until it was gone. [Parental RoyEd] No pairings, just some hinted Edwin later in the story.
1. Chapter 1

Edward swung his State certified pocket watch by the chain letting it make several full loops before he let it fall slack on the chain. Alphonse seemed to understand Edward's boredom. He turned his attention from the book he was reading to his brother, who had once again reasumed swinging his watch.

"Brother?" Alphonse said, a question begining to form in his throat, which to be fair wasn't really a throat. It was more of an imaginary throat.

"Huh?" Edward said as his only answer.

"Brother," Alponse repeated. "What are you thinking about?"

"Me?" Edward asked, a little out of it.

Alphonse nodded.

"I'm not thinking about anything. That's the problem. I'm freaking bored!" Edward said semi-anrgyly, swinging his watch and letting a small sigh escape from between his lips. Again, he let the watch fall slack against the chain. The watch spun, catching some of the sunlight from outside the window.

"How could you already be bored? We haven't even been on the train for an hour."

Edward groaned after hearing that. He had already asumed that it hadn't been too long since they had boarded the train. He really hadn't been paying much attention to the time, despite the fact that he had been staying at a watch. But he had hoped, more than asumed, that more time had passed.

"If it weren't for that stupid idiot Colonel we wouldn't have had to go on this mission in the first place."

"Well, Brother, if you are so tired than why not try to sleep on the way back to Central?" Alphonse said trying to be helpful.

"I never said I was tired, I said I was bored." Edward replied, placing his silver watch in his pocket.

"Okay, Brother, if you are so _bored_," Alphonse put heavy emphasis on the word. "Than why don't you take a nap? It will help pass the time."

"I'm not _tired,_" Edward said 'super convincingly', especially when he yawned right after.

"Oh? You're not tired?" Alphonse started saying, giggling as his brother's ears turned red.

Edward cursed under his breath at his stupid mouth for letting the yawn escape. To be honest he actually was tired. The mission they were returning from, however small, still took a lot out of the blonalchemist.

"I'm not tired, but if to make you happy I'll take a sho- a non lengthy nap." Edward said, correcting himself before he could say that cursed word.

Edward closed his eyes for just a moment, letting his eye lids rest. Edward's eyes flashed back open when he heard a clang and felt his head flop against Alphonse's metal arm.

"Oh, sorry, Al." Edward muttered, trying to stifle another yawn that came upon him. "I guess I should lie down on the other bench to sleep."

Edward stood up, moving to the bench oppisite Alphonse. He dropped onto it heavily, laying down and closing his eyes. It didn't take long at all before Edward had given into sleep and was dragged into the warm bliss of rest.

Alphonse would have smiled if he could. It was funny to see his older brother melt into sleep so quickly. It was even more funny, though, mostly because only minutes before he had stated that he wasn't tired at all. Alphonse peeled his gaze from his sleeping brother and returned it to the book he had been reading.

* * *

Edward's eyes flashed open. He woke to the sounds of screaching breaks, screaming people, and the suport under his back moving and tipping.

Ed shot his head in all directions, trying to take in his suroundings.

_What was happening? _

People were being thrown about the car, screaming as the train car came dangerously close to tipping. Edward tried to steady himself, unfortunately for Edward it didn't work well and his face smacked the window causing it to shatter into a hundred pieces several of which sliced and scratched Edward's cheeks.

"Brother!" Edward heard Alphonse scream as his eyes lost focus, and he was thrown back into uncontiousness.

* * *

Alphonse was nearing the end of the book he had been reading when the train car jolted. There was the horrible sound of screeching brakes and people screaming as the train derailed and was sent into the field they were crossing.

Edward had woken up in all the confusion, looking horrified and down right confused as the world seemed to be tipping. Alphonse could see that Edward was trying to right himself, but Alphonse could also see that it didn't really work. Another jolt of the car sent the train closer to the impending fate of tipping. It also pitched Edward forward, causing his head to collide with a window shattering the glass and cutting up his face.

"Brother!" Alphonse screamed as he reached out and grabbed his brother, pulling him into his embrace.

The car finally flipped on its side skidding along for a good distance before coming to a halt.

**XXX**

Edward was still in Alphonse's arms when the train finally stopped. The noise also seemed to die down too, with several people uncontious and some others who had fallen into a sleep they wouldn't ever wake up from.

The people in the over turned car began to stir and pull themselves to their feet.

A wail of agony echoed through the car. It was followed by heart shattering sob that originated from a young man bent over the limp, lifeless body of a beautiful young woman.

Alphonse felt the need to look away, as if he was imposing on the man's grief by watching him hold the woman in his arms, anyways he had his brother to worry about as well. He would be a safe distraction from the pain surrounding him.

As if summoned by Alphonse's thoughts, Edward scrunched his eyes tighter and let his eyes flutter open.

"Mmmmmmmm," Edward clutched his throbing head. He looked up. His younger brother was holding him close to the boy's armour chest plate.

"Al? What happened?" Edward rasped, genuenly confused and in pain.

"Brother!" Edward winced at the headache Alphonse's shout caused. "You're okay! I'm so happy!" Alphonse pulled Edward into a hug that rivaled only Major Armstrong's hugs.

"Ahhgck, ow! Ow! Ow! Al! Ow! I think I may have bruised some of my ribs."

Edward took in a shaky breath as Alphonse let him back down again. He looked around at the damage surounding him and his brother. His thoughts instantly returned to the moment his head hit the window.

"H-how did this happen?" Edward asked, horrified as he looked at the people huddled together and comforting and greiving.

"I don't know." Alphonse answered in a quiet respectful voice, as to not disturb those who cried around him. "I think I know the basics, _maybe_, something must have happened up at the engine that caused the train to flip on its side, which must be why the train was derailed in the first place."

Alphonse just looked at his brother as if he was waiting for Edward to comment on his theory.

"You're probably right," Edward muttered, as if contimplating what to do in this situation.

"I guess I should check out the cars closest to the engine and the engine itself." Edward thought aloud. "Especialy because I'm a State Alchemist. Urgh, sometimes being in the military sucks."

"Okay, Brother, let's go," Alphonse said as he stood up.

"Actually, Al, you should stay here and help the people in this car move back towards the end of the train." Edward said, gesturing to the people in the train car. "Anyways, what could possibly go wrong that hasn't already happened?"

"Well, I guess so," Alphonse began quietly.

"Great." Edward said as he turned around and started for the door wincing a little at his bruised ribs and aching head.

"Be careful, Brother!" Alphonse called after him. Edward turned and gave his brother a sly smile.

"Of course."

* * *

The engineer could feel the pipes, that had fallen when the train flipped, pressing against him. Trapping him. He had a vague memory of what just happened.

_CLANG!!_

The sound of cursing near his feet roused him from his stupor. The memories all came flooding back. He began wrestling with the pipes pinning his body as memories of the other engineer messing with the brakes and valves flashed right behind his eyes.

_CLANG!! CRASH!!_

A few of the pipes came loose and crashed against the wall, which was now the support that held the engineer.

"Tobias?" The second engineer asked as the ringing noise died down. "I had hoped you'd died, so that you wouldn't have to see me do this, and so that you wouldn't have to know what was to happen."

Tobias took in a hard, shaky breath. "Wh-why did you do i-it? W-why did you crash the t-train?" The words barily came out as a rasp.

"You wouldn't understand!" The man hissed. "They took everything from me, and now I have the chance to take something from them."

_Who? _Tobias wanted ask, but before he could his voice failed him.

The man seemed to have finished showing Tobias any notice

and returned to the task he had chosen for himself. From Tobias's vantage point, under a collection of pipes, nothing seemed clear; he had no idea what the man was doing to the engine, only that he was doing something.

"They took everything." the man muttered under his breath. Once again Tobias longed to call out and ask the man _'Who? Who took everything?'_ but his voice refused to be used.

A thin terrified rasp finally escaped from the traped engineer. "W-who took e-everything from y-you?"

The man looked away from his task with a seemingly confused look. "The State! Who else? They take everything!" In a bout of frustration the second engineer punched the closest soild object, in his case it was the roof of the engine, which at the moment was playing the role of a wall. "My son, my only son joined that damn millitary. He tried to convince us that he would be fine. That his job was at a desk so he wasn't in any danger. He had already gone through the required training, but now that he was leaving for good it was harder to let him go." The man paused as if remembering something painful from his past, that he would rather not relive. "T-three months later w-we receved the news no parent ever wants to hear, It broke my wife." There was another pause from the man. "She d-died." During the recollection of this man's story he had had his back facing Tobias, but now as he aproching the end of his tale he turned and faced Tobias. "And I'm going to make the Millitary pay!" those last words were said with a sharp biting force that made Tobias flinch away.

"And I know just how to do it," The words escaped his mouth in a smooth, cold way. "I'm going to kill one of their precious State alchemists."

**_(A\N): So this is my first ever fanfic that someone else has read. So proud of my stupid self right now! I have more to write and will update soon. I don't know when exactly, but hopefully sometime next week. I can't be sure though, school is trying to kill me, and to be honest it is succeding._**

**_I guess disclaimers should be at the top but I want to just do this, this time._**

**_I love fullmetal alchemist with all my heart, (you can tell I don't have any friends) but it is not mine. Not even close! BUT A GIRL CAN STILL WISH!!!_**


	2. Chapter 2

Edward climbed out of the wreakage, wincing as his bruised and broken ribs grated against each other. Edward had to be careful, he sure as heck didn't want a rib to puncture one of his lungs.

Beneath his metal leg Edward could hear the wall supporting his weight creak.

"The walls must have been weakened in the cash." Edward observed.

Carefully, trying to avoid both windows and creaky spots in the wall, Edward moved forward. He winced again at the excrutiating pain that flaired up in his chest.

Edward clutched his chest trying to catch his breath against the burning, ever-growing pain in his ribs. His sight began to blur due to his watering eyes. Blinking away tears that began to form, Edward straitened up looking over the last two cars that still had to be crossed before he got to the engine.

Edward had decided that he would check on the engine first, then after he made sure everything was fine there he would start to move backwards, ushering people towards the back of the train where Al should be waiting.

Again, Edward winced at the pain in his chest, jumping from one car to the next only fed the burning pain that flared.

Maybe one of his ribs had already pierced a lung? That might explain the horrible growing pain in his chest. Either that or he just had some broken ribs that really hurt.

"I can do this just two more jumps and a little walking in between and I'll be at the engine, no problem." At that very moment Edward's metal left leg gave out. He fell face forward, in a most ungraceful fashion. "Arghh, Ow! Okay now we have a problem. Maybe Al should have come with me." Edward spoke through gritted teeth.

"No!" He answered himself strictly. "You're the big brother, start acting like it!"

Edward groaned as he pulled himself to his feet, hoping, praying that the automail would hold him. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, when the automail knee didn't buckle and send him sprawling again.

The leg held him, that was good, but it didn't feel right, like something got damaged on the inside. "No!" Edward's face paled considerably. "Winry is going to kill me!"

Edward took a cautious step forward. Something was definatly wrong with the leg but it continued to hold his weight. As he walked unsteadily along.

"I wonder what she'll throw at me first? Probably that stupid wrench." Edward could already feel the heavy tools, Winry used, making contact with his skull.

Edward came to the edge of the car, a gap between himself and his goal. He jumped catching himself with his flesh leg. Edward could have easily transmuted a bridge to walk across the gap with, but he had decided against it not wanting to weaken the, already, weak walls any more than he had to.

Edward trudged the rest of the way fighting against his locking metal knee, draging himself along to the gap and sliding down in. He landed with a thud almost colapsing when his knee started to give way, righting himself just in time; he let loose a few colorful curses and moved forward to the engine's hatch ready-ish to deal with any problems.

* * *

Hawkeye knocked on the door to Mustang's inner office, letting herself in when he called out to her.

"Sir," She said giving her commanding officer a salute. "A train on its way to Central was derailed in a field right outside the city." She had the slitest hint of emotion in her voice.

"What's wrong, Lieutenant?" Mustang asked picking up the change in her additude.

"Sir, It was the same train Edward and Alphonse boarded earlier today."

Roy stiffened, He stood up, and looked Hawkeye in the eyes. "Get the car, Lieutenant." He ordered.

Hawkeye saluted. "Yes, Sir!" She turned and sped out of the room not wasting another second.

Roy followed her out of the inner office, only to be met with watchful eyes.

"Havoc!" Mustang called,The second Lietenant hung onto every word of his orders. His usual silliness replaced with seriousness.

The whole room had picked up on Roy's tension and assimilated to fit his every need.

With his whole crew rushing to follow their orders, Mustang left the office heading to where he knew Hawkeye would be waiting with a car for him.

"Oh, Fullmetal, What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

* * *

"You-you're gonna kill a St-state Alchemist?" Tobias was stuned almost beyond words. The man had sabotaged a train, and probably killed several people, but that wasn't enough for him?

"What better way to get back at the State than to take something they need?" The man answered.

Tobias tried to remember the man's name, if he could just convice him to think this through tha- Tobias realised something, mid thought, this man, he had thought this through. The happenings around Tobias where this man's thought through plan, this man was sick, _very_ sick.

"What's it to you anyway? It isn't like he's done anything for you. He's just another dog of the, willing to kill anyone in his way for power." The man hissed.

"A-aren't you saying that your son was also a d-dog of the Millitary?" Tobias dared to say.

"No! My son wouldn't have killed for his own ambitions!" The man spat angrily. "He was a..."

The man trailed off as a loud thud filled the air followed by cursing. He bent down and snatched something, pulling it up in a proctective way.

At the back of the engine the door swung open, awkwardly a boy tumbled into the space. He fell flat on his back letting out a little yelp of pain.

Upon seeing the man Edward pulled himself up, trying to up hold at least some of his dignity and keeping his weight off his metal leg.

Edward once on his feet noticed the defensivestance. "Don't worry." He said, putting his hands up to show that he was unarmed, in reality his hands were his weapons, but the man didn't need to know that.

A spike of pain shot up Edward's side He winced as he took in his surroundings.

Two engineers, one of which was trapped, while the other was baring a broken pipe at him.

"Don't worry." Edward repeated. He began moving in the direction of the trapped engineer. "I'm here to help. I'm a State Alchemist." Edward fixed his hands ready to clap, when the pinned man screamed at him.

"Get out! Get out of here, Kid! Get out! Now!"

Before Edward could even react something from behind struck his back sending him pitching forward. He fell on the pile of debris; the dagged end of a pipe digging into his side. A cry of agony erupted from his mouth as the pipe broke through coat and skin, scaring across his flesh.

Edward turned to face his attacker, rolling away before another blow could be delt to him. A blood trail followed him. He scrambled to his feet almost toppling over as he dodged once again. Edward pressed his palms together, his vision begining to blur and darken around the edges, as blue light electrified the air. Another blow was directed at Edward, this time though he didn't dodge, but blocked with his new blade that had been formed from his automail plates. The man pushed harder against Edward's defence causing him to stumble back against the machinery. Edward's eyes widened; against his back he could feel the machinery, it was hot, _very _hot. He bit his tongue against a scream as the heat burned through his coat. He fought desperatly to get away from the machinery burning his skin. Edward's eyes began to water, the wound in his side all but forgotten.

"Oh? Does it hurt, alchemist?" The man asked slyly, pushing harder against Edward, pushed as well. Unfortainaty for him though the man was stronger, and was succeded in pushing him further against the burning machine. The smell of burning flesh reached Edward's nose almost making him throw up. He shifted slightly so that he could awkwardlyly clap his hands, and he would have succeded in doing so if not for the knee that was rammed into his gut. This, along with the loss of something pushing against him, caused him to collapse forward. Edward gulped, trying to fill his lungs with oxygen, none came. For a second Edward was sure he was going to pass out, if not from the lack of oxygen than from the pain. His lungs were screaming, begging, him to just breathe. Still, nothing, but then it came, a breath, than another and another. Now that he wasn't souly focused on breathing, the sounds of yelling filled his ears.

"Stop this! He's just a kid! He doesn't have anything to do with your son's death!" One voice yelled.

"He is with the State! He has to know what he was getting himself into! And don't you think it's a little late to give up now?!" Another voice shouted back. Edward looked up to see one man pinning another man to the wall. It all came flooding back the trapped man, who was now pinned to the wall, and the attack on Edward, which didn't go as planned. Edward tried to pull himself to his feet, it took everything he had not to throw up from the pain.

"Well, look at that," Both engineers turned to look at him. "little alchemist is awake." A smile spread across the deranged engineer's face. "Now the fun can really start."

**(A/N): Sorry this is actually later than I was planning, but I droped my phone in the bathroom sink, and it shut off and wouldn't turn back on. I put it in rice so now it's fine.**

**disclaimer:**

**I don't own Fullmetal alchemist.**

**Never have, never will, but will always want to.**

**I just want to tell you how much it means to me that people actually like my story to some extent. thank you for reviewing my story, liking it, following it or just reading it. You don't know how much it means to me.**

**I am open to any tips or criticism.**

**-_IME/UNAU_**

**Sorry for not getting to the point yet.**

**l promise next time.**

**For sure.**

**Probably.**


	3. Chapter 3

_"Well look at that,"_ _Both engineers turned_ _to look at him. "little alchemist is awake."_ _A smile spread across the deranged engineer's_ _face. "Now the fun can start."_

Edward scrambled the rest of the way to his feet. His head felt like it was floating, like his brain was swiming in a vat of molasses.

"C-come at me, I dare you!" Edward tried to sound menacing, but his voice betrayed him. Instead of being menacing his voice was raspy and sounded stained.

Edward was a mess. He sounded like a mess, and he looked like a mess, with his braid falling apart and blood seeping from his wounds. He still stood, though. He stood baring his automail blade and holding his wound.

"Don't be so cocky, Kid. You'll hurt yourself and then it won't be as fun to kill you."

The pinned engineer used this moment to clonk the other engineer in the jaw.

"Aargh! Ow!" The second engineer stumbled back a few steps. He looked up, furious. "Your gonna die for that, Tobias! I'm not letting anyone get in the way of my revenge!"

"Revenge?!" Edward demanded, running towards the two men, a little awkwardly, claping his hands together. "What have either of us done to you -well he just nailed you in the jaw- But what have I ever done to you?" Edward scooped up a pipe transmuting it into a curved dagger.

"Don't flatter yourself, Kid," The not-Tobias engineer spat, as he easily dodged Edward's attack. "It's not you I want to make pay, but the military you work for."

"Geez thanks, I'm so glad I have nothing to do with it but am still being targeted by a creep like you!" Edward remarked with all the sarcasm he could muster.

Edward lunged at the engineer, Tobias, following in suit, attacked as well. The engineer again dodged Edward's weaker-then-usual attack. Though, this time Edward wasn't attacking alone. The engineerer plowed strait into Tobias, causing them both to topple.

Tobias was fast, but The other engineer was faster, he was on top of Tobias before Edward could even react to the sudden change. Edward shook his head, trying to free himself of the fog riddling his brain. Yes, maybe the engineer was on top of Tobias, but that also left his back wide open. Edward lept forward, tackling the man. They rolled together, this causing Edward a great deal of pain in his chest and side.

Blood loss was causing Edward's body to feel heavy; rolling with the engineer was only making him want to be sick.

"I'm sorry, you don't deserve to die like this, Kid," The engineer was on top at that moment.

"I'm not dead! So don't feel sorry!" Edward said through gritted teeth. He tried to roll the man off of him, but the man wouldn't budge.

"Your not dead _yet_, Kid, _yet_," He said it like he was already changing his mind about being sorry.

"You know, the way you're talking makes me think you aren't as sorry as you make yourself out to be." Edward said, again, trying to roll the man off of him.

"Wow, you're smart, Kid. I understand why they let you join their group of murderers," The engineer hissed in a calm sardonic way.

Edward felt the weight of the man pulled off of him. Tobias held the man from behind. They thrashed about, fighting against each other. The man pushed backwards, pinning Tobias against the machinery. Edward winced in sympathy as he saw the pinned engineer's eyes widen from pain. Tobias's grip loosened enough for the other engineer to escape his grasp. The now free man moved as far away from Edward and Tobias as the engine's walls would allow. He bent down and scooped up a pipe. The end of the pipe was jagged and already red with blood. Edward knew right away where the blood came from. His injury hurt just thinking about the pipe cutting into his flesh.

"Stay back!" The man yelled. "I'm warning you!"

The engineer smiled; he ran forward barring his pipe as one would a sword. Both Tobias and Edward lept out of the way, niether one sure on who the man was aiming for, seeing as he lept randomly and out of a deep desire to kill.

In reality the attack wasn't what they first believed. He hadn't been aiming for either of the two, just for where they were standing.

"Thanks for this spot. I like it much better." He reached down into his pocket letting his fingers slip around a small lighter. "You are rather annoying, puppy alchemist. I am finding it harder than expected to kill you."

"Ya' know that doesn't bother me much. You can keep _not _killing me. That would actually be my proffered option," Edward hissed.

The man smiled.

"As I was saying this isn't going quite as planned. So, I guess, I will just have to resort to this." He pulled the lighter from his pocket and lit a hidden fuse. The man had hidden explosives in the machinery a while back. He was surprised, though, that they hadn't exploded given the heat they had been exposed to.

"What did you just do?!" Edward demanded, pointing his arm-blade at the place the man had lit fuse.

"Why, Alchemist, I just signed your death certificate," The man laughed.

"How long did that one take you to think of?" Edward said, trying to sound sarcastic and not a little fearful. He was sure, though, that he sounded more appalled by the man's laughter then he intended to sound.

"Aw, Kid, it's okay to be scared. I don't want to die either." The man smiled

"I'm not scared! Now, tell me! What are were you doing?!" Edward yelled

"Gunner Pierce. Thats my name I want you to know it as you di-" His words were cut off by an ear shattering explosion. Edward's eyes opened wide, as he was tackled to the ground by Tobias, who was protecting him from the explosion.

Edward could feel his head slam against the ground, his eyesight blurring as he felt pain shoot through his damadged head and body. Another explosion sounded, as Edward, with ringing ears, dropped off the edge of contiousness and into a void of blackness.

* * *

Alphonse held a small child. She had been too terrified to move, paralysed from fear. She had cried and cried, and no matter what he tried Alphonse couldn't get her to stop. That was how he had ended up carrying her.

The little girl's crying and the groaning of the walls were the only noises, besides the sound of Alphonse's foot falls, that could be heard from this, now abandoned, train car. This car had been the last one he needed to check the other few closest to the engine had been checked by another person, who had deemed them as empty.

Alphonse ducked out of the door and into the sunlight. The girl's crying died down to wimpering as she realized that she was now safe from the creaking, groaning train walls.

"Sophie! Sophie!" There was a man running towards Alphonse; his hands outstretched to take the child. The little girl turned to the voice.

"Daddy!" She squeaked, reaching out for the man, who pulled the girl out of Alphonse's arms holding her tightly. He dropped to his knees sobbing for joy.

"Thank you! Thank you!" The man repeated the phrase again and again. Alphonse wasn't sure if the thanks was for him or for the little girl in the man's arms. He didn't have time to consider it anyway.

The horrible sound, like a bomb going off, filled the air. The sound of, yet, another explosion split through the air followed by another and another. The sound of the explosions began to die down, but the sheer panic filling Al's hollow chest only grew.

* * *

Mustang was close enough now to see the wreakage of the train through his window.

The train had landed on it's side and skidded across the earth, digging a furrow in the soft ground. Even from the distance he was faced with, Roy could see people milling about, helping the others around them. From this distance he also heard the deafening series of explosions.

"Step on it, Lieutenant!" Mustang shouted, tensing as he watched black smoke rise from the engine of the machine.

Hawkeye pushed harder on the gas, speeding the car up. The time it took to reach the derailed train wasn't long at all, but to Mustang it felt like hours had passed. He practicly jumped out of the car as it came to a stop at the site.

Mustang began running in the direction of the smoke billowing engine. He saw, twenty or so feet ahead of him, Alphonse Elric running as well, but-

Mustang's heart stopped for a moment.

_Where was Edward?_

_No! No! No! Please, no! Don't be there Fullmetal! Don't!_

"Alphonse!" Roy shouted, chasing the child-armour.

Alphonse turned back at the familiar voice stopping for a moment. "Colonel?" The posture of his armour body showed his evident worry. "What are you doing here?"

Mustang ignored the question, asking one of his own "Alphonse, where's Fullmetal?!"

"H-he's- he went-" Alphonse's voice cracked. Mustang was sure that if the child could cry he would.

Roy's brain put two and two together; he wanted to be sick.

_No!_

As if needing to confirm the horrid truth he knew to be correct he cocked his head in the direction of the smoking engine.

Alphonse nodded.

Nothing could have stopped Roy. He ran like mad, not wanting his fears be proved right.

_What if Edward was dead? Or dying_?

The loud clanking of metal footsteps followed him. Alphonse.

_Please don't die, Edward! Alphonse can't see that! I can't see that!_

Roy knew that was the truth; he wouldn't have been able to stomach the sight of his youngest subordinate lying dead. He had recently begun to feel a change in his relationship with both of the Elric brothers. Roy wasn't sure if Edward had noticed how he felt about them, but that wasn't important at that very moment. What was important was finding Edward _alive_.

* * *

**(A/N): I'm sorry this is later then I wanted again. I had a long, hard week. Some of my family came to visit, I had to deal with an online stalker, and more.**

**Also for those who are confused Gunner Pierce was planning on setting a trap for the State Alchemist. He wasn't planning on being around.**

**disclaimer: I love fullmetal alchemist but sadly it is not mine. (cries in backround)**

**I will write more soon, but I'm getting a bad headache and am stopping for now.**

**I Love all of the readers! Thank you for reading and putting up with me, and now my life problems. I love all reviews even bad ones!** **Thanks for reading!** **And tell me what you think Edward los****t!**


	4. Chapter 4

The heat radiating off the engine was almost too much to bare, as Roy neared. He refused to let that stop him, though. The Flame alchemist being stopped by heat would be embarrassing, but that still wasn't the reason for not stopping. He needed to save the kid, he had to save_ Edward_. He wouldn't be able to live with himself of he let that stupid kid die.

Roy was now close enough to reach out and touch the side of the engine. Without thinking, his right hand rose, closing in on the burning metal.

"Colonel! Don't touch it!" Alphonse's voice made him think twice about his decision.

"Let me do it. I won't be able to feel the heat," Al said, reminding Roy of the safer choice.

Roy took a step back, making room for the large armour to work. Alphonse pulled a piece of chalk out and began drawing a transmutation circle on the side of the engine. He pressed his hands against the circle, sending blue light shinning through the air. The wall began to deconstruct and reconstruct into an empty doorway.

Roy didn't even wait for the blue light to fade before running into the, now empty, space. He was met with a blast of heat.

Roy's breath caught in his chest as the stinch of burnt flesh was forced onto his nostrils. He fought against the overwhelming urge to vomit from the putrid smell. That alone would have made him sick, but it wasn't alone there was also the sickening sight of two charred corpses.

"Colonel?" The voice behind him asked, when he hesitated to go in all the way. "What's wrong? What do you see?" panic was starting to creep into the voice.

_Get ahold of yourself!_ Roy internally screamed _You have seen this before! You've done this! It's no different then the !_ He was wrong though, this was different, this was Edward. _H__is_ Edward. The little boy everyone saw as broken before he had gotten his automail, but he had seen the boy as he truly was, a strong, determind child. He was nothing like any of the others. He was Edward.

A flash of a familiar red caught Roy's eye and pulled him out of his thoughts. It was trapped under one of the corpses. Under not on, _under._ Roy suddenly didn't feel the heat anymore he only felt cold dread. The chance that Edward might still alive didn't seem as likely now. What if Mustang had been to late? What if Edward was dead and Roy had been too late to find the kid?

Mustang moved towards the corpse and red coat, with a quick pace, not stopping when he heard the shocked gasp of the younger Elric.

Roy knelt by the corpse with the red coat under it. He tried desperately not to be sick from the smell. Roy knew the smell of burning flesh from too much experience. He should have been used to the smell, but he wasn't. Roy knew he probably never would be.

Alphonse was now standing beside Mustang. Roy knew that he must have already seen the red coat.

"Colonel, i-is that m-my broth-" Alphonse's voice once again cracked, and along with it Roy's heart. He just couldn't stand the sound of the child's evident pain.

Gathering all the courage he could muster Roy pulled the corpse away from the red fabric. Roy wanted only to cry out for joy, though he remained quiet, as he looked at the boy he had come to find. His joy melted away as he looked over the pale face. Edward's eyes were closed, he didn't even look like he was breathing. Mustang pulled off his glove pushing his middle and index fingers against Edward's neck checking for a pulse. It was weak, _very _weak, but it _was_ there.

"I-is he alive?" Alphonse asked hope clinging to His voice.

"Barely," Roy responded, frowning slightly. He noticed the steadily bleeding wound in His young subordinate's side. This wasn't His only injury, he was covered in cuts and bruises, and burns covered most of Edward's left arm all the way up to part of his cheek.

Roy removed his jacket and bunched it up against Edward's wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Edward didn't react to anything he didn't even flinch in pain when Mustang lifted him up and held him in his arms bridal style.

"Alphonse, we need to get out of here it's too hot, and your brother needs serious medical attention" Roy said, pulling himself to his feet and moving towards the doorway with his bundle. Alphonse followed, looking over Mustang's shoulder at his unconscious brother's face.

* * *

Lieutenant Hawkeye was distressed when Mustang had approached her, covered in sweat, with the bleeding and unconscious kid. She had been very worried about Edward, but seeing him now brought on a whole new level of worry, one a mother would feel when she found out her son was hurt.

Without meaning to, Hawkeye hesitated, worrying that leaving, even for only a second, might result in him hurting himself more. She couldn't let that happen he was already hurt and quite possibly, in fact most likely, dying. She shook her head against the silly notion that he would be hurt, he would be safe with the Colonel, but not if she didn't move and start the car.

As Hawkeye ran off, ahead of them, in the direction of the car, Alphonse wrung his large gauntlet hands, worry radiating off of him in waves, as he followed the Colonel at a slower pace. He longed to wrap his arms around his brother and hold him tight so that he could never be hurt like this again.

They reached the now running can. Alphonse piled into the back seat, not leaving Mustang with much of a choice but to place Edward in Alphonse's protective arms, and sit in passenger seat, worrying about his subordinate's serious condition.

"Lieutenant, How far to the nearest hospital?" Mustang asked looking over at the woman driving.

"About twenty minutes, Sir," She answered.

"Make it fifteen!" Roy ordered.

"Yes, sir!"

Mustang glanced back at the brothers through the rear view mirror. Guilt weighed down heavily on his shoulders; he realised that those brothers would never had been on that train if not for him. It was entirely his fault. If only he hasn't sent the two boys on that mission this wouldn't have happened, he wouldn't be worrying that his youngest subordinate would die at any moment. He knew that this was all his fault.

So that was how the trip to the hospital went, Roy weighed down by his sickening guilt, Hawkeye speeding to the nearest hospital, Al holding his injured brother, and all of this was set in an awkward and tense silence only broken by the occasional wheezing breath from Edward.

* * *

**A/N: HA HA sorry this is so short. (Like Edward) The next part will be out tomorrow. I was just trying to get this part over with. It felt boring while writing and I felt that I should get this out so I could just work on a different part.**

**Disclaimer:****I don't own fullmetal alchemist! Big surprise, right?****!****Love you guys! Thanks for reading! Please review so I know what you think! And tell me what you think Edward lost! I will mention anyone who guesses in the Author's note next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Roy paced nervously in the waiting room, causing even more stress on the others. He had lost the ability to wait patiently long ago. How could he wait patiently when he knew this was his fault, that the reason Edward was hurt was his doing?

Roy's mind wandered back to when they had first arrived at the hospital. Alphonse had panicked slightly when the nurses took Edward and wheeled him away to surgery. It wasn't too much of a surprise when Alphonse tried to follow, but was pushed back. The only questions the nurses had voiced were asking them if Edward was allergic to anything and what was his blood type. Roy shuddered when he remembered how pale Edward looked as he was taken away.

_No! Don't think about that! It just makes the guilt worse._

Roy stormed away in the direction of the pay phones; he needed to make a call.

Without much thought, Roy dialed the number he always called when he needed support. Most of the time it was literal support, after one to many drinks at the bar on a _really_hard day. He wasn't an alcoholic he just, sometimes, went overboard.

Roy felt kind of bad, considering he was calling him on his day off, but it was too late now. The ringing stopped. On the other end of the phone a voice answered.

_"Hello? This it's Maes Hu-"_

"Hughes, it's me Roy. I know it's your day off, but I need you. Fullmetal is-" This time it was Maes's turn to interrupted.

_"Ed?! What's wrong with Ed?"_

"There was an accident and-" Today seemed to be the day for interruptions.

_"Where are you?" _Hughes was stern.

"We are at the Saint Ander's hospital."

_"I'll be right there!"_

The clicking sound of the phone being hung up filled Roy's ear. Turning around Roy started back to where the others waited.

* * *

In the time it took for Hughes to arrive, more people from the accident had come in, the ones with more serious injuries that needed immediate attention. The others with far less serious injuries were taken to other hospitals so as not to swamp this hospital.

Hughes didn't know why it was so crowded, considering he didn't know what kind of accident Edward had been in. He searched the faces of the people in the hospital waiting room his eyes falling upon the familiar faces of Roy, Alphonse, and Riza.

Maes approached the quiet, waiting group silently, only speaking when he was within a few feet off them.

"How is he?" Maes asked startling the group, who hadn't noticed his approach yet.

They all looked up, but Mustang was the one to answer. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"We don't know."

Those words did nothing to help Hughes's stress level.

"At least tell me you know what happened?" Hughes was desperate now.

"The train flipped," Alphonse said in a hushed voice bowing his head to look at the floor. Roy and Riza both looked at the boy slightly surprised, this was the fist thing he had said since his brother had been taken back into surgery an hour or so ago.

Hughes gasped. A train crash was dangerous and could often times kill lots of people. He bent down infront of the boy and placed his hand on the kid's gauntlet.

"I'm sure your brother will be okay. He's strong and would never allow himself to get in the way of you guys getting your bodies back." Hughes gave Alphonse a smile, and the kid seemed to brighten.

"Thank you, Mr Hughes. That makes me feel better."

"You're welcome, Al."

* * *

Hours went by and the group just sat there waiting, that was all they could do, was it not?

Havoc frowned as he moved towards them.

"No word yet?" Havoc asked. The others just shook their heads "no". As if on que a doctor came out from behind the double doors and called out in a calm, traveling voice.

"Anyone here for an Edward Elric?"

At the name Alphonse jumped up moving towards the doctor. The others followed right on his heels.

"I'm his brother!" Alphonse answered.

"And I'm Colonel Mustang, his commanding officer and legal guardian," Mustang said stopping in front of the doctor.

The doctor was an average height with short brown hair and deep blue eyes. He held a clipboard against his chest.

"Mr. Mustang," The doctor started. "Major Elric has been stabilised and is now out of surgery. the gash he has along his right side has between stitched up and several of his ribs were broken including one that pierced his right lung. We found some internal bleeding as well. The burns he received covered half of his back and most our his left arm are third degree burns. And on top of that he has a concussion. He didn't need any blood transfusion, but he did lose quite a bit of blood, and he isn't out of danger yet there is still a chance of infection." The doctor was quiet letting his words sink in and giving them time to ask questions.

"Can we go back and see him now?" Alphonse said, barely trusting his voice. The doctor hesitated before answering.

"Yes, That's fine. He's still unconscious so you will need to be quiet, and so as not to stress him out when he wakes up, don't be too loud, and try not to have too many people around." The doctor guided the group through a set of doors and down several hallways to a room.

"Room 141," The doctor said. "Now I'll leave to give you some privacy. Find a doctor or a nurse when he wakes up. I'll come back to check on him later." The doctor walked away to tend to other duties elsewhere.

Taking a deep breath, Mustang opened the door to the room. Like the doctor had said Edward was uncontious, on his face was an oxygen mask. Roy held back a gasp when he noticed just how pale Edward was. Alphonse followed Roy into the room, but he didn't try to hide his surprise when _he _saw Edward.

"Brother," Alphonse gasped.

Everyone was equally horrified at seeing their usually fiery subordinate lying motionless on the hospital bed, pale and looking like death itself. This wasn't a look they liked to see on the boy.

Alphonse moved towards the hospital bed looking down at his brother. Edward's flesh arm was almost completely covered in bandages. On his face, smaller bandages covered cuts and burns. If it weren't for the hospital garb and blankets covering Edward's chest they would have been able to see even more bandages wrapped around the boy's torso.

"Poor Ed," Hughes said, looking down at the bed's occupant.

"Don't let him hear you say that," Mustang warned his friend, though silently he agreed. That kid had gone through so much. If the world really did work on the basis of equivalent exchange then that kid had a future to look forward to, but at the moment Edward was forced to face yet another trial of pain.

The room fell into silence. No one spoke, they just sat there. Alphonse reached out and took his brother's flesh hand, carefully as not to accidentally pull out the IV. He sat there holding his brother's hand and feeling a sense of guilt creeping over him. If only he'd been there he would have been able to help. Alphonse knew that Edward wouldn't blame him, but that just made it worse. He also knew that his brother would feel guilty about not being able to save those engineers.

_If only I had just been there!_

* * *

An hour or so passed without much change. Against their wishes and demands, Havoc and Hawkeye were forced to leave. The doctor had stated that having to many people around when Edward woke up might tire him out or cause him unwanted stress.

The doctor had technically said that only two people should be allowed in with the patient, but there was no way either Mustang or Hughes would be talked out of staying, and Alphonse was out of the question, he wouldn't leave his brother for anything. Not that either Mustang or Hughes would try to make him leave.

All four of the room's occupants were quiet, leaving the heart monitor's steady beeping as the only sound to be heard.

Half an hour passed in silence before the sound of groaning coming from the bed, grabbed everyone's attention.

"Brother?" Al whispered. The groaning didn't cease.

Edward's face scrunched up in pain, before his eye lids flickered open revealing two confused, sleep-dulled golden irises.

"Brother? Oh, Brother I was so worried. I'm so glad your okay!" Alphonse sighed in relief.

"Yeah, Ed, you really scared everyone. We were really worried," Hughes said; a smile filling his face.

"Fullmetal, next time you plan to do something stupid, check the height requirements," Mustang teased, in an effort to rid himself of some of his guilt.

Edward just looked at them in a confused action like something wasn't right. His eyes bounced from one person too the next, the confusion never leaving his expression.

"W-why can't I-" Edward's muffled voice broke off. A look of absolute horror filled his face as if he just realised something horrible.

"No," Edward's voice was shaky. "No."

* * *

Edward's whole body hurt. He groaned from the pain. Somewhere in the back of his mind alarms flared, signaling to him that something wasn't right, but his brain was too numb to piece it together.

Edward was sure that if anyone could see him now, they would see his face mirroring pain. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt so weighed down. After much effort, his eyes finally flickered open.

Edward's eyes were met with a blinding white light, as his eyes adjusted to the light he noticed he was lying in a hospital bed. Looking around he also noticed that the room wasn't empty sitting next to Edward was his brother, and behind Alphonse he could see Hughes and Mustang.

Edward was confused he could see Hughes's lips moving, but why couldn't he hear his voice? Mustang too.

"W-why can't I-" Edward stopped himself short, he was horrified. He couldn't even hear his own voice.

"No, no." Edward couldn't hear his voice as he said it.

_Why can't I hear anything?_

* * *

**A/N: There I finally got it out! How is it? Did you like it? I'm so happy! I can't wait to finish the next chapter!**

**disclaimer:**

**I don't own fullmetal alchemist. I really wish I did, but I don't.**

**Please review! Thanks for reading! And thanks for reviewing!**

**I love all the readers thank you!**

**_-UNAU/IME_**


	6. Chapter 6

***NOTICE* I ONLY DIDN'T UPDATE FOR AWHILE BECAUSE I HAVE HAD A, PRETTY MUCH, EVER-CONSTANT HEADACHE SINCE THE LAST TIME I UPDATED TILL NOW.**

**SORRY!**

* * *

_Why can't I hear anything?_

Edward started to panic; his hands moved to his face. He winced from the effort it took to lift his automail and from the pain it took to lift his flesh arm. Edward's flesh hand brushed up against the oxygen mask on his face. He ripped it off and made a frightened noise that he, himself, couldn't hear.

"Al? H-hughes? Mu-mustang? What-what happened t-to my- Why c-can't I- My-my ears?" Edward stuttered, letting his hands gravitate towards his ears.

The looks his friends gave him worried Edward. He looked to his brother. He may not be able to see his brother's facial expression, but he could tell that, by the way Al's armour shoulders slumped, Al was upset and worried.

Edward tried to sit up only to be met with a horrible searing, burning pain in his ribs and back. Again he saw the lips of his friends moving without the companion of words.

Edward wanted so badly for the pain and confusion to go away and leave him alone. The pain spread down to the injury in his side where the pipe had impaled him.

_Please, it hurts and I just want it to stop! I don't want to be confused anymore! What happened?!_

* * *

Maes starred at Edward as he panicked and ripped away the oxygen mask. A noise he had never heard from the boy was absolute fear, but there it was.

"Ed, are you okay?" Maes asked, his brows furrowing in worry.

"Al? H-hughes? Mu-mustang? What-what happened t-to my- Why c-can't I- My-My ears?" Edward's voice was high pitched as he stuttered through his words.

Maes's worry deepened along with everyone else's.

"Fullmetal? Is everything okay?" There was worry in Mustang's question.

"Brother, what's wrong?" Alphonse squeaked, his shoulders slumping.

Edward tried to sit up, pain erupting in his face. He fell onto his back again, probably in even more pain because of the burns on his back.

"Ed, take a deep breath, calm down, and tell us what's wrong."

Edward didn't take a deep breath, he didn't calm down, and he didn't tell them what was wrong; he panicked. His breaths came quick and short. All any of them could know was that something wasn't right.

"Fullmet- Ed calm down and breath normally!" Mustang ordered the boy. "You're going to hyperventilate."

Edward showed no signs that he had acknowledged or even heard his superior's voice.

Everything began to fall together. Maes, whose job was piecing together facts, began to realise the horrible truth. Something was seriously wrong, Edward had already confirmed that, he had also said that he couldn't do something, and he wasn't acknowledging or acting like he had heard anything that they said. Then another thing came to mind. Edward, he had said something about his ears.

_No! That couldn't..._

"Ed, can you hear me?" Maes asked, scared for the answer.

"Of course, Brother can..." Alphonse started trailing off. "You don't think he's...!?" Alphonse couldn't quite finish the question.

"Guys? W-what's happening? I can't h-hear anything."

There it was.

Everyone stopped.

Maes felt sick. He'd been right, but he didn't feel good about it. He would rather have been wrong and embarrassed than the truth be, well, true.

"What does he mean? Fullmetal, what do you mean?" Mustang demanded.

Maes let himself become somber. He found it hard to bring out the words in anything more than a whisper.

"I think- Roy, I think he might be deaf."

Roy was shocked. Those words felt heavy.

"He..." Mustang trailed off. "He can't be! I just saw him less then a week ago and he was fine! He can't b-"

"Roy!" Hughes interrupted. "You know as well as I do that things can change fast! There was as explosion! We don't have control over the past or the future. Ed said that He couldn't hear so denying the truth is idiotic. You can't just say that the way you want the world is the only way that is possible, so-"

"SO STOP FIGHTING! It's useless! And it won't solve anything!" Neither Maes nor Mustang had ever witnessed Alphonse snap like that. "If brother really is... Than I want to help him not fight!"

Everyone looked at Edward, staring up at them from the bed, unable to hear anything they had just said.

* * *

It was torture for Edward to just sit there in silence. Never in his life did Edward even consider the suffocating feeling of complete silence. He had never been in complete silence. Yes, there were times when it had been quiet, but Alphonse was there so it wasn't completely silent. And even when Al wasn't around Edward could hear his own breathing. Now he could hear nothing, not even his own breathing. It was truly terrifying to say the least, and Edward wasn't one to be scared about just anything.

All Edward had was, ever constant, white noise in the back of his head, and the growing panic he was feeling as he stared at his friends.

The inaudiblity of the room was getting to Edward. He just wanted the cloud of confusion to go away. That, of course, wasn't happening. When did anything happen exactly the way Edward wanted it to?

Edward was still taking in short and quick breaths. He was frantic. It was almost as if he could see the worry oozing off of his brother and friends. That was one reason for the panic he felt.

Of course, seeing his friends worried only proved what he already knew.

Something was terribly wrong.

* * *

**A/****N: I have a very bad headache so I'm stopping there for now. I want to apologize for the long delay. I was really trying to work on this s****tory. T****hanks for the reviews and loves and follows.**

** Oh, and sorry this chapter isn't great. More like down right awful, or that's what I think. **

**Love you all!**

**_-UNAU/IME_**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm alive and back with a new chapter! Yay! **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Edward was sitting awkwardly on the hospital bed as a doctor looked in his ears. This was _not _how Edward had planned to spend his day. He had hoped that he would be able to quickly finish all of the annoying stuff that came with turning in a report, maybe annoy the Colonel a little, and then head to the military dorms to get a little sleep in a real bed.

But, No! Edward was stuck in an annoying hospital, very confused, to say the least, and he was deaf, or at least that was what he assumed. It wasn't like it could be much else. In fact, what else could it be? He wasn't able to hear anything. The thing that made everything worse was that Edward wasn't quite sure what had happened and how everything ended up like this. He knew something went wrong on the train, but what it was Edward had no idea. And then there was this name floating around in Edward's mind, something that he was supposed to know, but couldn't quite remember.

_Gunner Pierce_.

_What happened that I can't remember?_

Edward strained his brain to remember. From the back of his mind the blurry, unfocused memories of a fight played.

_So I got into a fight with someone_. _Is_ _that why I can't hear? Did He do something to me while we were fighting?_

Edward was fed up with all of it by now.

_Why can't something have gone right for me just this once?!_

A familiar armor gauntlet slipped Its way into Edward's flesh hand, causing Edward to jump up in surprise. He flinched at the pain it had brought about to jump like that.

"Al," Edward whispered, forcing himself to look up at the helmet that served for his little brother's head. Edward's own eyes met with two red soul fire eyes. "I'm sorry."

Edward let his eye lids fall closed. He just sat there, feeling as if he had severed himself from the room's occupants by ignoring his sense of sight.

What Edward couldn't ignore was his sense of touch, which at the moment was feeling Alphonse's hand slip from his grasp. What? Had he angered his little brother past the point of forgiveness? The other thing Edward was finding hard to ignore was the aching in his heart by that small movement.

The absence of his brother was short lived though, being replaced by a hug, painful, yes, but very much worth the physical pain.

_This was the equivalent of being forgiven, correct?_

Edward really hoped so. He didn't want his brother mad at him in any way. Nothing good would come from hurting his little brother.

* * *

Alphonse was distressed but what his brother had said.

_"__I'm sorry.__"_

But what for? What was Edward sorry about? It wasn't like all that had happened was his fault. So why?

"Brother, I don't understand," Alphonse said, perplexed, pulling his hand away from his big brother's hand. He looked strait at his brother's face noticing the tightly shut eyes.

"You don't have to say you're sorry when it isn't your fault," Alphonse said embracing his brother in his metal arms. "You don't need to say sorry. There is nothing to be sorry about."

The doctor stepped back, giving the two boys some room and turned to address both Hughes and Mustang.

"There is quite a bit of severe damage to the boy's eardrums, very severe. It seems as if Edward, here, is now deaf. Most likely permanently. I'm sorry."

Hughes and Mustang didn't know what to say. They had both been holding on to that last bit of hope, that whatever had been wrong with Edward was just temporary.

"I'm going to go get you a notebook and some pens, so that you can communicate with him that way." The doctor said starting to move towards the door.

"I'll be back soon."

An awkward silence settled over the room.

"It's permanent, isn't it?" Alphonse asked, breaking the silence.

"Alphonse, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Hughes was the only one to say anything, Roy wouldn't have trusted in his voice anyway.

Alphonse pulled away from his hug and took his brother's flesh hand in his own again.

Silence returned to the room.

* * *

The doctor returned soon after he left this time coming in with a pen and a pad of paper.

"Here you go, Colonel Mustang," the doctor said handing the pen and pad to Roy. Before the doctor released his hold on the said items, he whispered.

"His condition is life-changing, and I think that hearing, or rather learning, the truth from someone he knows would be easier than learning it from me. So, I trust you will tell him."

"I understand," Mustang said, taking the pen and pad.

"I'll be going now. Find a nurse or a doctor of anything serious happens." The doctor left the room again, leaving the two teenagers and two grown men to their silence.

* * *

Roy was having a much harder time writing down Edward's diagnosis than he thought he would. It was because, for some reason, putting the boy's pain on paper made it feel all the more real, like the pain he was being subjected to would just go away of he ignored it. But that wasn't fair to Edward. Edward had all the right to know, and Mustang knew it was ridiculous to think everything would just get better ignoring the truth of the matter.

"Hughes, I- I just can't." Mustang looked into his friend's eyes, seeing complete shock. It was probably because Roy was supposed to be the strong one that everyone could look to when things got out of control, but Mustang couldn't do it. He couldn't tell a kid that he had been robbed off his hearing because of a stupid accident. _No! _He just couldn't. Especially not that _certain_ kid, that kid who had already been through so much of the world's horrors, that kid that he could sense was strong. How could he tell that kid that he was going to be deaf for the rest of his life?

"I understand. Roy, give me the note pad." Mustang passed the pad to Hughes, who began writing. His face was full of guilt like he thought he was the one at fault. It was ridiculous for him to think like that, especially considering that the only one at fault was Roy himself. He knew that to be a fact.

_I'm sorry, Ed. I'm pathetic I can't even gather the courage__ to tell the boy that I messed up what is wrong._

Mustang looked away from his friend's buzy hands.

_I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault._

* * *

Edward wasn't sure what was worse the fact that both Mustang and Hughes were supporting the worried look or that Alphonse was also giving off the feeling of, not exactly worry, but something mighty close.

Mustang looked worse as he tried to write something on a sheet of paper from the note pad he was holding.

Words? Again Edward saw the lips on his companions' face moving, but no words came. Well, that is, not that he could hear.

The note pad moved from Mustang's grip to Hughes's hands. The writing began to spill onto the page. Hughes was definatly more productive than Mustang was in whatever they were attempting to complete, though Edward could hardly care what they were doing. That is, unless they were trying to fix him.

Edward hadn't even realised that he had closed his eyes to think until he felt a warm hand his shoulder. He jumped at the surprise contract, wincing at the pain the movement caused. His eyes shot open only to meet Hughes's apologetic hazel-green eyes.

"Sorry, Ed." Or that's what Edward thought he saw Hughes's lips form.

Edward was about to say that It was okay when the very same note pad Mustang and Hughes had been writing in was shoved onto his lap. Edward looked up at Hughes only to see him turning away, not wanting to see the boy's reaction to the page's message. Edward picked up the note pad, looked down at the page, and started to read.

____Edward, the doctor has told us to tell you what happened. I am really sorry, but he says that It doesn't seem likely that your hearing will return or heal. The damage to your eardrums, from the blast, was very severe.__

The note made Edward's heart stop.

'_What!? No, this can't be happening! It can't! It just can't! This can't happen! I can't- I can't be deaf!_'

Edward dropped the note pad off the side of the bed and just sat there completely at a loss as to what he should say. He turned to look at his little brother.

_If_ _I__ don't get better how will I get Al's body back? How will I keep my promise?_

* * *

**A/N: So here you go! Okay, I've had this done for about half a week but my Wi-Fi was awful so I couldn't upload it. Also we all know I don't own fullmetal alchemist in any way so disclaimers aren't exactly necessary.**

**Sorry, I don't feel like much is happening in** **the story right now, but I promise it will get better. I also think I have spent much time on just what is happening in the hospital, and I think I might be being unintentionally repetitive in my story.**

**Sorry for the mistakes and Thanks**** for reading!**

**Please drop a review and follow this story!**

**-_UNAU/IME_**


	8. Chapter 8

Edward sat in complete silence, not a surprise considering he was completely deaf. He only added to the silence with his own lack noise. The fact that he couldn't hear himself speaking bothered him more than he would like to admit so he avoided speaking if at all possible. He could tell that his silence was worrying those around him. Of course they would be worried he was, by nature, loud and almost never quiet so his silence was very out of character.

Edward flinched away from an unknown, cold object making contact with his flesh arm - that is in the small area that wasn't covered with bandages. Looking to his left, the direction the object had come from, Edward saw Alphonse holding a glass of water, somehow looking guilty even as a suit of armour.

'I'm sorry.' Edward could almost imagine his little brother muttering those words guiltily. He was about too tell Alphonse that he was fine when his brother turned towards the door. A short pause and then the door opened.

Colonel Mustang walked in waving to both the boys. He turned slightly to Alphonse speaking to Edward's little brother.

Edward watched Mustang's lips as they formed sentences. He wasn't able to understand all of what was said but he did catch a few words from the older man's mouth.

'How...doing?...change?' That was all Edward had cought and he couldn't be completely sure that was what was said but it was most likely what was said; at least part of what was said.

Mustang turned and looked at Edward, who quickly looked away and stared at the wall, ignoring both Mustang and Alphonse, and as an after thought, the glass of water Alphonse had tried to give him before Mustang had arrived.

* * *

Mustang glanced at the kid he had come to visit. Edward just sat there silently, not moving, not acknowledging anyone's existence, except for the occasional glance in Mustang's direction. He had been like that sense he woke up and found out about his condition, two days earlier. To be completely honest it really worried Roy seeing Edward act so unlike himself. He tried not to let it show, He couldn't let anyone know how He felt about those kids. That would be beyond embarrassing.

"Alphonse, has your brother told you why he won't talk?" Mustang finally managed to ask.

"No, he is really making me worried. I don't want him to act like this. If I know my brother, and I do, he is probably blaming himself." Alphonse paused and looked right at Mustang with his red soul fire eyes. "H- he looked like he was about to talk to me before you came in, b- but then he stopped like..." Alphonse trailed off.

"Like what?" Mustang asked genuinely wanting to know the answer.

"Like- like he was scared someone would hear him." Alphonse seemed really upset at the idea that his big brother might be scared to let them hear his voice.

"Alphonse, your brother has every right to be scared. He probably just needs time. What he- what he's going through..." Mustang wasn't sure of what he should say to the boy. "...He's going through something that none of us would understand. You are probably the only one he completely trusts especially after this- this situation."

"Colonel, I can't- He knows when you're talking so he knows you care, but- but when I talk to him without writing it down he doesn't know. I don't have a body so he can't see my lips moving when I try to talk to him. What if he thinks I don't care or that I am ignoring him because he can't- because he can't..."

"Alphonse, you're being ridicules. I may not know Edward as well as you do, but I know that that isn't like him at all. He knows you care. He just, probably, is confused right now. And I know he wouldn't want you to think any less of him." Alphonse looked right into Mustang's eyes.

"But I would never-" Alphonse was interrupted by a small bout of coughing originating from the figure propped up on the hospital bed.

"Edward! Are you okay!?" Alphonse exclaimed. His brother had, two days ago, soon after Alphonse had gone to get some water for Edward, started coughing and coughing. It had really frightened Mustang, who had stayed with Edward while Alphonse fetched the water. It had been especially worrisome when blood splattered across Edward's hands. The doctors had assured them that Edward would be fine and that this was only a side effect of his lung being punctured, and that he just needed to expel the blood from his lungs. The assuring was lost on Mustang though.

"Alphonse, he's fine. He's not even coughing up any blood." Mustang reassured calmly. Truth be told Roy was not calm, not in the slightest. He was only trying to keep up the facade so that he didn't make anyone worry anymore then they already were.

In a short minute the coughing ceased and Alphonse was offering Edward the same glass of water he had earlier rejected. This time Edward took the glass downing the soothing liquid in a few gulps.

"Alphonse, will you pass me the note pad and a pen?" Alphonse passed the said objects to Mustang and returned to comforting his brother, who was desperately trying to preserve his pride by pushing off the comforting hands of his little brother.

Mustang smiled slightly at the scene before he turned to the pages on the note pad and began to write.

-Hey Shorty,

How are you feeling today? Any better?-

Mustang gave Edward the note pad and smirked at the boy's twitching eyebrow. Roy ducked as the same note pad came hurtling towards his head.

"Crap, Mustang! Crap!" Edward roared then, in surprise, his eyes widened and he turned away. "A- and I'm not short." The last part was said as, almost, a timid whisper. Both Mustang and Alphonse gave each other a look. Something was definatly wrong with Edward, well that is, apart from his hearing.

"Alphonse, do you think his silence might have something to do with the fact that he can't hear himself or maybe because he can't remember much of anything from the accident?" Like, maybe, he is surprised or scared of the silence he is met with when he talks even though he knows that he should be hearing his own voice, but he just can't. Or maybe he's just trying to remember what it is that happened by thinking heavily about it. Mustang decided against saying the second part of what was on his mind about the older of the Elrics.

"Colonel, you think he is afraid of not hearing his voice when he talks?" Alphonse's voice cracked when he asked it. "No, He can't be. Brother wouldn't be scared of- he wouldn't!"

Alphonse almost seemed like he was crying. He couldn't really cry it was more like dry in-soul sob.

"Alphonse, it was only a theory. It might not be right but we shouldn't rule it out yet," Mustang sighed. "Anyways, I don't mean to be insensitive, but I didn't actually come here solely to visit. Investigations is beginning to think that the crash was intentional. I was just wondering- "

"What do you mean!? Intentional!? Why would someone- why would someone do that!?" Alphonse burst out, looking shocked even as a suit of armour.

"We're looking into that, and as I said they aren't sure if it was intentional our not. The evidence is leaning towards it being intentional though," Mustang paused for a second. "His," Roy gestured to the boy on the hospital bed. "His injuries imply that he may have been in a fight with someone."

"Well than, what do you need from us?" Alphonse asked hoping that he could help in the way Mustang wanted.

"Well, actually, Alphonse, I was hoping that, maybe, your brother had regained some of his memories from the accident." Mustang said hopefully.

"As I said, he isn't really talking much, so I'm not sure." Alphonse replied stealing a glance at his brother as he said it. His helmet gave off a gentle clacking sound as he moved.

"I understand. I'll have to ask him about it myself."

* * *

Edward wanted so desperately to leave. They were talking about him; he knew it. And worst of all they were doing it right infront of him, and he couldn't even hear it one bit. Leaving wasn't an option and neither was yelling at the top of his lungs for them to shut up or at least stop talking about him when he couldn't hear. It wasn't like he thought they were bad mouthing him. Alphonse would never, at least that's what Edward hoped. It was solely because he, though he would never admit it out loud, was frightened. Losing his hearing was hard, understandably. Not being able to hear was challenging in more ways than one. It was torment not to be able to hear his brother's voice. That was all be had left to prove that his little brother did reside in that armour prison, all but the blood seal stained inside the back of the armour. That was Edward's fault, it all was. Every bad thing that had happened was his fault. Even the loss of his hearing was his fault. Alphonse had offered to help, but Edward had denied it. All the proof be needed to tell himself it was his fault was in his own words. His own denial of help.

Edward was jostled from his self blame by the note pad, once again, being shoved into his hands, rather rudely, by none other than Colonel Mustang. Edward hissed in annoyance, not that he could hear it, and read the scrolled out writing.

_\- The__ train accident is beginning to look less accidental. We need to know if you remember anything. Tell me any of what you remember. It's all important.-_

_'I know it's all important that's why I want it back!__All I remember are blurs of a fight and a name! A bad name from a bad man._

Gunner _Pierce._'

* * *

**A/N: Ha! I'm back after a long wait.** **Sorry about that I have had a really hard time finding time. Also I was experiencing a slight writer's block. Not to worry, though, I'm out off that. The delay is slightly due, also, to my sucky Wi-Fi that keeps deleting huge chunks of my stories as I write them.**

**If you are wondering why I skipped those two days in the hospital, I will be coming back to that in a later chapter. It will envolve paternal/Roy. Yay! So just be patient.**

**-_IME_**


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

* * *

**_HAPPY __(late)__ THANKSGIVING! Now on with the story._**

* * *

Edward wished that the words would just flow out, spill out, and leave him alone. He was deaf not mute, so why wouldn't the words come out, why wouldn't they form? It wasn't like he was afraid of the thoughts in his mind. He was probably more afraid of the ones _not_ in his mind. Not that that is something he would admit even to himself.

"I- uhh..." Words finally began to form, well maybe and kind of. They weren't really words just stutterings, the beginnings of a sentence that just didn't want to be made. Edward wasn't able to hear the stuttering, but he knew that the words just weren't coming out quite right.

A comforting gauntlet came to rest on Edward's shoulder. He shrugged it off, trying not to feel guilty about pushing his little brother, who, not only, was just trying to help but also didn't deserve it in the slightest, away.

"I -um- well... W- what exactly do you want to know?"

Mustang the words ' All of it ' then proceeded to write down:

-_Anything that you can remember.-_

Edward inhaled deeply causing a small coughing fit.

"I..." Edward really didn't want to talk, it didn't feel right. It was just wrong, all wrong. He had never in his life known, or imagined, that such a change as this would be so... wrong?

Yes, he had had his right arm and left leg robbed from him, but that was equivalent exchange, right? His left leg for that creature that they made as children, which technically they still were, and his right arm for his little brother's soul. But where was the equivalent exchange in the loss of his hearing? He had tried to help. Was the interruption of that man's revenge plan wrong? That man was the reason for a number of deaths, so how could it be wrong?

* * *

Mustang furrowed his brow at Edward's long pause. He reached forward, placing his hand on Edward's shoulder, ready for it to be shrugged of just as he had with his little brother. Just as suspected, Edward pushed Roy's attempt at a comforting gesture away. Both Roy and Edward met each other's gazes. Strong, worried black eyes met confused gold ones, and they just locked onto each other not letting go.

"Fullmetal," Roy broke the silence between them. "are you alright?"

A moment of confusion showed on Edward's face as if he were attempting to decipher a complex code.

"Y- yeah, I'm fine." Edward answered, somewhat as if he were asking it as a question.

"Fullmetal, are you reading my lips?" Mustang asked quickly.

Edward's face showed Mustang that he had lost the boy. Roy stopped, slowed down, and spoke more clearly this time.

"Edward, are you reading my lips?"

Edward took a moment to process the words.

"Yes?" He answered, seemingly not sure as whether that was the right answer or not.

"Well, that really clears things up, thanks Fullmetal." Mustang muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes.

Edward stopped and turned away from Mustang, looking genuinely upset. He scooted to the edge of the bed, as far away as he could be while still on the hospital bed.

"Fullmetal, is something wrong?" Mustang asked reaching towards the kid. Edward jumped back, away from Mustang's extended hand. Being, already, on the edge of the bed, Edward had nowhere to go but down. Edward toppled of the edge of the bed, eyes widening at the unexpected change. He let out an involuntary squeak, very unlike Edward, as his backside collided with the hard hospital tiles.

* * *

Edward shied away from the Colonel as he muttered something. It felt unnatural not being able to hear him. Mustang could easily mutter something horrible and awful, and Edward would never know. Muttering was to hard to read, and Edward was having a hard enough time trying to read Mustang's lips when he was speaking clearly.

_'But, of course he's not saying something horrible or awful. Al would have stopped him, right?'_

Edward stopped to consider_._

_'I wouldn't blame him If he didn't stop Mustang from saying something. I already broke my promise.'_

Edward lost himself in his thoughts, not even noticing Mustang's hand until it was too late. He jumped back forgetting that he was already on the edge of the bed. Gravity did its part, and Edward toppled over the edge landing hard on his backside. Edward assumed he made a surprised sound but he wasn't completely sure. Once the surprise died down the pain came rushing in to replace it. Broken ribs screaming in agony. The gash in his side almost feeling like it was ripped open again. The burns, well, they burned. His concussion sent waves of pain through his head. And the inside of his ears ached, feeling jostled and pained.

Through gritted teeth and tightly shut eyes, Edward cried out against the pain.

_'Stop__! I don't want it to hurt anymore!'_

* * *

Mustang scrambled around the bed toward the pained child. He tripped over himself as he reached the kid. He kept repeating the words _'I'm sorry' _as he tried to comfort the boy. Edward showed no reaction to the words.

_'Of course__, you idiot, he's deaf. He can't hear you.' _Roy ignored that fact and remained apologizing.

Mustang reached out and touched the boy's flesh arm, recieving a hiss of pain and frustration. He had, unintentionally, touched the forgotten burns.

"Don't worry, Fullmetal. I'm going to go get the doctor." Roy knew Edward couldn't hear him, but he said it anyway. "Alphonse, come here and stay with your brother, while I fetch the doctor."

Roy rushed out the door searching the halls for a doctor. He was slightly annoyed that be couldn't find one. This was a hospital, wasn't it? So why wasn't there a single available doctor?

A nurse came shuffling down the hall, a clipboard in hand. Mustang ran up to her.

"I need a doctor now. It's important!" The woman seemed a bit surprised by the demand.

"U- uh, yeah- yeah I'll go get Doctor Frued f- for you." she stuttered out, before running off to get the doctor. Either that or she was running away from the creepy man who had run up to her. Roy really hoped it was the latter.

Minutes later, a tall blonde man dressed in scrubs and a white coat stroad up.

"Were you the one in need of medical assistance?" The man asked, coming to a stop infront if Roy.

"Doctor Frued?" Roy questioned.

"Correct." Frued answered, his voice dull and lifeless. "What room?" He asked like he was trying, not very hard, to be patient with Roy.

"Room 141," Roy answered pointing down the hall. "He fell off the bed and is in pain now."

"I know where the room is. Just let me get to the patient." Doctor Frued said impatiently.

They entered the room finding Alphonse helping his whimpering brother back onto the hospital bed. "It's okay, Ed. See? The Colonel found a doctor." No response. Just continued whimpers.

"Now, boy, stop crying and tell me where of hurts." Frued stood right by the bed now. "Son, I said tell me where it hurts and... kid?"

Roy took a step forward. "He can't hear." Mustang frowned. "He's deaf."

"That would have been helpful information," The doctor scowled.

Mustang had come to the conclusion that he did not like that doctor.

Frued gripped Edward's shoulder and shook gently. "Come on, kid."

* * *

Edward was not pleased at the uncomfortable pain his shoulder emitted, when this strange man, he didn't know, touched him. It was already bad enough that he had jostled all his wounds, when falling from the bed, but now there was a strange man -probably a doctor- being not as gentle as he probably thought he was being.

Edward wished that he could just hiss at the man and tell him to stop, but his voice refused to work. It was much to heavy and thick to cooperate.

* * *

**A/N: I hoped you enjoyed. I, honestly, think it sucks a lot (I rewrote it three times), but whatever. It didn't seem like you guys liked the last chapter very much so I will have to try better next time. forgive me?** **I didn't have Wi-Fi all week that is why it is late. ****By the way, if anyone has any ideas they would like me to add to my story feel free to give me your ideas. I'll try to add them in. And I will give you the credit for the idea. I do have the story almost all planned out, but it doesn't hurt to add some other things. I already have the last chapter written, but nothing in between then and now.**

**Thank you for reading!**

**_-IME/UNAU_**

_P.S. With the coming holiday season, I will probably not have as much time so I may not have many updates. I, unfortunately will be traveling around New Year's and before Christmas a little. I will try hard to get them out, though._


	10. Chapter 10

Couldn't they just leave him alone? He hated that they were always poking and prodding at him, but, due to the thickness that had made itself at home in his throat, he was unable to tell them to stop.

"Owww!" Edward hissed, as the -probably but maybe- doctor touched his achy ears.

_'He can't be a doctor, doctors don't hurt you. They are supposed to heal you. Help you, not hurt you._'

"Stay back!" Edward yelled. "Don't touch me!" With all the tightness and heavy feelings weighing down his throat gone, a single teardrop escaped and rolled down Edward's face.

A hand touched Edward's shoulder, it was actually gentle not like the previous rough-gentle hand. Surprise washed over Edward when he looked up and saw that the hand belonged to none other than the Colonel. Edward couldn't say why but for some reason the gesture was calming.

'No! Mustang's hand on my shoulder is not calming! What am I thinking?! He's an idiot who can't tell a-'

Edward clenched his eyes shut as pain burned in his thoat and formed into a throaty cough. The hand moved to his back drawing circles in a strangely calming way. Edward felt like he could almost fall asleep sitting there with that hand rubbing circles on his back. Without thinking Edward nuzzled up to the hand's owner. With eyes still closed, he held himself close to the Colonel's chest not daring to think how pathetic he probably looked, resorting to comfort from the Colonel. But as it seemed Edward's body wasn't cooperating with his pride.

The pain in Edward's wounds and ears were enough to make the boy seek pretty much anyone, which technically included the Colonel, to help relieve the pain. It needed to at least be someone he thought he could trust to some extent. The Colonel was one of those people. Edward wasn't actually sure when he started really trusting the Colonel it was different, though. It was more a feeling of reliance than anything and only now in his moment of pain did Edward realise that he didn't actually hate the Colonel. He was always trying to convince himself that he hated the man and wouldn't mind if something horrible ever happened to him but now Edward didn't want that. He didn't want to have to rely on someone either, sadly that couldn't be helped. Sometime, when in his thoughts his head had lolled and he had drifted off to sleep in the comfort of his commanding officer.

* * *

Roy hadn't intended to rub the boy's back, but Alphonse had told him to do something calming. And he wouldn't have thought it ever possible, but the very same boy who rudely called him horrible names all the time was snuggling up to him. He hadn't meant for it to be like this, but now with the boy's head resting on him he sat down letting the boy find a comfortable place.

Doctor Freud stood a little ways back examining the pair. He thought they looked like a son and father gathering together so that they could share the pain. In reality, even if he seemed quite cold, Freud cared about what happened to his patients, even if this boy wasn't really originally his patient.

He pulled off his latex gloves, waiting for the boy to calm down enough to be examined. In his waiting he picked up the chart at the end of the bed. Something he really should have done since the beginning.

**Patient- Elric,** **Edward .**

**Sex- Male.**

**Age- 14**.

**Allergies_Drug Reactions- None. Side note: No allergies to milk, but he won't drink it.**

**Pharmacy_Therapist- Dr. White, Elena (specialist for the hearing impaired.)**

**Notes: Received large gash in side, several smaller cuts, severe third degree burns on back and arm, and lost hearing. In an earlier accident, lost both his left leg and right arm -fitted with auto mail.**

**Accident_Origin of injuries- Train derailment.****_**

The doctor scanned the rest of the chart, before looking up to see the youth's head lolling to the side a little as he drifted off to sleep. Good. Sleeping was probably calm enough, just as a simple examination.

"Lay Edward down." Doctor Freud ordered, pulling on a new pair of gloves.

Mustang hadn't noticed that Edward had drifted off to sleep until the doctor ordered him to lay the kid down.

"Did he fall asleep?" Alphonse asked as Mustang gently laid his brother down on the bed.

"Yeah." Roy answered, worrying slightly as Edward readjusted himself in search of a more comfortable position.

Doctor Freud moved to the edge of the bed.

"Do you know if he has been sleeping well at night?" The doctor glanced up from Edward, locking eyes with Roy.

"I wouldn't know. Alphonse?" Mustang asked, turning to the armoured boy.

"I don't know. It seems like he's been sleeping." Alphonse said, slightly confused. "Why?"

"The way he fell asleep so quickly is worrying in some ways. He could just be tired, but it could also be the result of sleeplessness at night."

"I can ask him about it when he wakes up, if you want?" Alphonse offered.

"Fine." The doctor said before returning to his examination, and leaving the room in silence.

"Is Edward normally a heavy sleeper?" Doctor Freud asked, breaking up the silence with his question.

"Yes," Alphonse was the one to answer, considering that Mustang didn't know the answer, it was a good thing.

"Only at night? Or is it whenever he sleeps?"

"whenever." Alphonse answered again.

"Does Edward suffer from... nightmares?" The doctor asked as he looked up.

Alphonse paused before answering, "Yes."

"Is this a new occurrence or is it something that has always been a problem?"

"It wasn't always a problem. He first started having them when our..." Alphonse trailed off, looking upset even as a suit of armour. "When our mother died."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's fine." Alphonse assured.

"Why are all these questions important?" Roy asked.

"Well, It helps me to determine whether or not he is likely sleeping at night." Doctor Freud answered as he crossed the room. He opened a drawer and pulled out a strange tool.

"How?" Alphonse asked.

The doctor crossed back over to Edward as Alphonse questioned him. "The differences in the way he normally sleeps and how he has been sleeping cou..." The doctor trailed off. He was looking in Edward's ears. "His ears are bleeding."

Mustang's heart stopped.

_'That_ _can't_ _be_ _good_. _His_ _ears_ _are_ _bleeding?'_

The doctor pressed a button. Probably the one to call a nurse, if only Roy knew about that earlier.

"How bad is it?" Alphonse squeaked in a frightened voice.

"I'm not sure yet, but don't worry. He'll be okay." Doctor Freud said as he returned to the drawer pulling out a white cloth. Crossing back over to Edward, he placed the cloth over the kid's ear. Turning Edward's head so that the cloth covered ear was against the pillow, he looked at the other ear.

"Is there bleeding in that one too?" Roy asked, hoping the answer would be 'no'.

"Yes." Of course. Poor Edward was stuck with unbearable amount of misfortune.

Edward's face was etched in discomfort. His brows were furrowed as the doctor touched the area surrounding the ear.

A gentle knock at the door drew everyone's attention.

"Ah, Della, this boy's ears are bleeding and are beginning to swell around the auditory canal." Doctor Freud informed as a nurse came in.

"Is it bad enough that we will need to operate?" The young nurse, Della, asked.

"I don't think so at the moment, but we should deal with it now rather than later."

"Operate?!" Alphonse shouted.

"Doctor Freud, would you like me to go get the operating team?"

"Yes, Della." Doctor Freud answered.

A whimper of pain came from the boy laying in the bed, as the nurse ran out.

"You're going to operate? Now?" Alphonse asked, wanting confirmation.

"We would have to operate in the end, but it would be safer and smarter to operate now." The doctor affirmed.

Alphonse moved to grab hold of his brother's flesh hand.

"How- how long?" Alphonse inquired.

"How long is the operation, or how long till the operation?" Doctor asked.

"Both." Alphonse said in a small voice. He didn't know what to say. He was worried. He was kind of scared. Only a minute before, his brother was fine, or so to speak, but now he was in need of an operation? It goes to show that the world is what choses any outcome of your life, and that it can change anything in only a matter of seconds.

"The operation will start as soon as everything is prepared. As for how long it will take, somewhere between two and three hours."

Edward's whimper of pain could be heard again. He writhed slightly in the bed, rolling his head off of the white cloth. To both Roy's and Alphonse's surprise, despite knowing that the boy's ears were bleeding, the cloth had a small patch of blood on it.

Another knock was heard before a different nurse came in holding a tray with a set of medical tools covered with a cloth.

"Doctor, they have an operating theater open for your team."

The doctor thanked the woman and uncovered the tray. On the tray were three different sized needles, a syringe, a few cleaning wipes, and a bottle of some sort of sedative. Taking up one of the wipes and the needle that would best serve the doctor's purposes, he began cleaning. After cleaning the needle, he attached it to the syringe. Everyone watched in silence as the doctor measured out the correct dosage, pressed down on the plunger to release the trapped air, and held down Edward's flesh arm. Alphonse didn't let go of his brother's hand, waiting for Doctor Freud to pierce Edward's skin and inject the sedative.

As the needle meet Edward's skin, he opened his eyes they were fuzzy and confused from sleep.

"There isn't anything to worry about." The nurse reassured Edward as the doctor pressed down on the plunger.

"What- what's happening?" Edward asked, falling into a daze like sleep before anyone could even answer.

All Mustang and Alphonse could do was watch as a gurney was wheeled into the room and Edward was placed on top.

* * *

**A/N: Yay, Merry Christmas! Enjoy! Here is my Christmas present to all of you. Thanks for reading. Have a very good holiday season.**

**Please tell me what you think of this chapter! I love reading your reviews!**

**And as I said in the last chapter, I would love you too hear what you guys think I should put in the later chapters.**

**-_IME/UNAU_**


	11. Chapter 11

Both Mustang and Alphonse sat in silence. It had already been a little over an hour since Edward had been taken away for surgery.

There was a gentle knock on the hospital room door. The door opened and in walked Hughes.

"After noon, Alpho- Where is Edward?"

Roy and Alphonse looked up at the newcomer.

"He, umm, he had to go into surgery. His- his ears were bleeding." Alphonse stuttered.

"How bad is it?" Maes asked, worried expression very evident on his face.

"I don't know exactly, but I guess it's bad enough that he needed his ears operated on." Mustang informed.

"How long ago did they take him in?"

"I don't know, an hour maybe?" Roy said.

"Do you know how long the operation will likely last?"

Mustang couldn't remember if the doctor had said anything about how long the operation would last, but it turned that he didn't have too remember.

"The doctor said two to three hours." Alphonse muttered.

"But how did it get so bad? I mean, it didn't happen over night, right?" Hughes asked.

"He... Umm, he hurt himself." Alphonse said not mentioning how. He was either trying to spare Edward embarrassment or Mustang guilt.

"How?" Maes asked obviously not content with just 'he hurt himself'.

"Uh, he fell off the edge of the bed." Alphonse said, hoping that Hughes would leave it at that. He didn't.

"How did he get so bad just falling off the bed?!" Hughes exclaimed.

"The doctor said that he must have jostled his ears. He probably further ruptured the injury in his ears." Alphonse said in a quiet tone.

Silence enveloped the group once more.

* * *

As the hours passed on, no one spoke. It was awkward. Very awkward.

Mustang shot up on to his feet. He began pacing, again. He had repeatedly stood up while waiting and started pacing. The pacing continued, showing the worry and impatience Roy, and everyone else, was feeling.

A knock at the door made everyone in the room jump up in surprise. The door opened and in walked a nurse.

"Uhh, Edward Elric is out of surgery now. The team are just now preparing him to return to this room. He hasn't woken up yet, but that isn't a surprise. He will probably be out for a little while upon arriving, so don't expect him to wake up right away." The nurse looked at each man in turn. "Any questions?"

"No, Thank you." The three males said.

* * *

Alphonse left the room to go grab a cup of water for his brother, before he woke up. His brother had been brought in about an hour earlier. He was still in a drug induce uncontiousness, but it was obvious with the twitching and groaning that the drug was soon to wear off.

The door made a soft clicking noise as it closed behind Alphonse's retreating form.

"Poor kid. Why does this always happen to those boys?" Hughes asked turning to Roy.

"You mean the injuries? Or the unfortunate tragedies? Well, I guess they are technically the same thing in some ways."

"Yeah, that, but not that at the same time. I mean everything is just wrong if a boy his age has to deal with this kind of thing. The military alone is a lot for some people, and I'm talking about grown men and women not children like them."

"You're right, Maes, but there aren't really many children like those two. They are strong and special." Mustang frowned as he said it.

"I know, Roy. But the question is, how did those boys get so strong?" Maes asked with his knowing smile.

"As I said, you're right, Maes. When will those boys stop having to suffer? And this time it wasn't even a result of their own foolishness."

"What I find ridiculous is that you alchemists say the world is governed by the laws of equivalent exchange. One act will have an effect on you that is the so called equivalence. But tell me, Roy. Where is the equivalent exchange in Edward's situation?"

"There isn't, Maes. He didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why do alchemists believe that the world follows those rules?" Hughes questioned.

"I think it's because we feel the need to understand the earth. But why would the world play nice with us petty humans? We are insignificant in comparison to vastness of the World."

"Wow, Roy, you sure now how set the mood." Maes smirked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mustang demanded

Another groan from the bed was heard.

"Shhh! Roy, you're going to wake up Ed."

"Maes, being loud isn't my problem. In case you have forgotten, Fullmetal is deaf. He can't hear." Roy instantly felt horrible saying that. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. He looked away from his friend, not daring to look the man in the eyes.

"Roy, I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too." Hughes began.

"No, you don't understand! You think you understand, but you don't." Roy snapped turning back to glare at his friend

Maes just stared at Mustang. His friend didn't normally snap like this.

"Roy, I don't- "

"Stop!" Mustang looked down. "Maes, it's my fault. I sent those boys on that mission."

_'Of_ _course_, _Roy_ _blamed_ _himself_. _I_ _should_ _have_ _known_._ He thinks he needs to keep everyone under him from harm, and when something happens to one of them he thinks he has failed them.'_

"Of course, you're Edward's commanding officer. It's your job to send him on missions. It isn't your job to take credit for what happens on those missions, unless you didn't properly warn your subordinate." On Maes' face was a deep and serious frown

"I didn't know about the- "

"Of course you didn't know. How could anyone know that a train wreck would happen? We aren't gods, Roy. You need to understand that. You couldn't have known what would happen."

"I'm not a god. I know that." Mustang put his head down cast. "A god wouldn't kill innocents. That's how I know we aren't gods. Killing women and children alike. We aren't gods we're monsters."

"Roy, don't change-"

"Are you two arguing?" Edward inquired sitting up in the bed.

"Ed, you're awake! No, don't worry we weren't fighting." Maes assured, a smile stretching across his face.

Edward's face was scrunched up in concentration.

"Yeah, but it- it looked like you two were arguing about something?"

"No, Ed, we weren't- " Mustang began really hoping the boy would just drop it so that they wouldn't have to explain what it was that they _were_ really arguing about.

"Wait, Ed, how did you know what I said?" Maes cut in cocking his head to one side.

Several seconds passed by. Edward's facial expression abruptly went from confusion to realization. He pointed to his own lips.

"Um... Your lips move when you - um- when you talk." Edward answered as if he was only hoping that was the right answer.

"Roy, did you know about this?" Hughes asked, turning back to the man he had only previously been scolding.

"He was reading my lips earlier." Roy confirmed.

"Wow, Ed, you really are a child prodigy." Hughes laughed out. "I'm betting that it would take most people a lot longer to figure out how to correctly read lips."

Edward was lost. He just looked confused staring up at Hughes.

"Hughes." Hughes turned to his friend as he addressedhim. "I think you're talking to fast or maybe you just said to much."

"Oh, you're right. I guess that would make reading lips harder."

Maes tried again this time choosing to tell Edward that he was pleased to hear his voice again.

"Ed, we're glad you're talking again we were worried about you."

* * *

Edward watched Hughes' lips as he spoke.

'Ed... glad... you - maybe you are- talking... again... worried about you.'

How much had he been talking? He didn't know. He could have said a lot more than he thought he had said. What if he said something...

_'I had__ better stop talking before I regret something I said.'_

Edward had never had to worry about regretting what he said before. This was different. It was kind of like his whole personality was changing to go with the loss of his hearing.

What was happening to him?

* * *

**A/N**: **Man,** **I** **must be really boring because I had so much fun writing Maes and Roy's conversation about the boys. I hope you liked it! This chapter took awhile to write because I have been traveling and trying to finishing another chapter for a different story. The next update will hopeful be soon. Not sure though because my life is hanging right above awful at the moment, but writing on this always makes everything so much easier.**

**Please** **review! It** **makes** **me** **feel** **so** **happy!**

**Thanks** **for** **reading!**

**_-UNAU/IME_**


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

**WARNING: If you are bothered by mentions of alcohol, ****I'm sorry.**

**Now on with the story!**

* * *

Mustang stared at the papers in front of him. He couldn't concentrate. Why had he done that?! Had he really told Alphonse that?

"Sir," Hawkeye's voice cut in through his thoughts. "Try to concentrate on your work."

"Yes, Lieutenant." Mustang said frowning. He was really hoping that his first Lieutenant wouldn't decide to pull out her gun. She would often do so if Roy got distracted while working.

Roy smirked as he watched his Lieutenant exit the inner office. She would be able to handle the Elrics. He, on the other hand, couldn't, so why did he offer to let those two boys stay with him at his house? Roy picked up a glass of some sort of alcohol, he wasn't really sure what kind it was. He understood that he was guilty, and would do anything to at least ease the weight of his guilt slightly. But take in the Elrics? He wasn't going to be able to do this. Not only did he know he couldn't do it, he had proven that he couldn't do it when in the hospital. He scrunched up his face as he remembered the terrifying moment in the hospital when Edward had started coughing...

* * *

_Edward was laying in the hospital bed completely silent._ _He was really freaking everyone out with how quiet he was being. Roy frowned. He didn't enjoy the thought of being left alone with Edward, especially because Edward's condition almost seemed to be mocking him._

_Alphonse had gone to fetch his brother some water, and Maes had to leave because he still had work and a family that he needed to tend to. That considered, Roy also had work. He just also had a guilty conscience._

_A wet, throaty cough came from the small figure lying in the bed._

_"Fullmetal?" Mustang asked_.

_'__Oh, yeah. You idiot. He's deaf. And it's your fault.'_

_Roy reached out for the boy. He was about to touch the boy's shoulder when he saw it. The bright red, crimson, liquid. Blood._

_"Fullmetal!"_

_Another cough, followed by the sound of splattering blood. It was coming more heavily now_.

_"Edward, stop! Breath!"_

_Roy panicked._

_'What do I do?'_

_What could he do? Roy didn't really know what he was supposed to do in this situation. He should get a nurse or a doctor or really anyone other_ _than_ _himself. But he couldn't just leave Edward here alone coughing up blood. He would just have to._

_"I'm sorry, Fullmetal. I'll be right back!" Mustang shouted at the unhearing boy._

_Roy rushed into the halls catching Edward's doctor right away._

_"Doctor! Doctor! The kid in that room," Mustang pointed towards Edward's room "he's coughing up blood! I think he might be dying!"_

_The doctor's face showed that he was distressed by Roy's exclamation. He moved to the door Mustang had indicated and rushed in._

_"Mr. Elric, calm down. Oh, yeah. Of course. I keep forgetting about the... Sorry."_

_The doctor turned to the cabinet and pulled out fresh tissues. He put one under Edward's mouth to catch the blood. Edward jumped away from the doctor, grimacing in pain._

_"We've seen this before. __Sometimes when a lung is punctured it can cause a small amount of bleeding in the lung. It might come to be a serious thing, but at the moment it is not as serious as it seems to be. He could have a surgery to remove the blood but it could quite possibly cause more bleeding. I recommend letting this pass."_

_A heavy bout of coughing caught both the doctor and Mustang's attention._

_"I can give him something that will make him cough up more, but that is entirely up to you as his commanding officer. You are the closest thing he has to a guardian right now." The doctor said as he moved to grab a small cup in the cabinet -if only Alphonse knew about that earlier. He began filling it at a small faucet._

_"I- I can't make that choice." Mustang replied._

_"That's fine." The doctor said as he rubbed Edward's back and offered him the water. Edward took it and downed it as fast as he could._

_'You were right about needing someone else. You couldn't even think to get the kid a cup of water?'_

* * *

The Colonel's face once again graced a frown thinking back on those memories reminded him about Edward's abrupt silence at the hospital. He was seemingly getting better. He had decided to talk with them after the surgery for a while before he suddenly clammed up. Roy was annoyed. He had hoped that maybe the kid was no longer going to act so odd and would finally be back to his old hot-headed, cocky attitude. But no. Edward had started acting all guarded again.

Edward did finally give Mustang some sort of report. He wrote all that he had said he remembered from the accident.

Mustang turned to look at the paper on the other side of the desk. It was about one third of the way filled out with vague writings. None of it mattered much anymore the man was dead. There wasn't anyone they could take in. No one to arrest. But the damage had been done. The military would have to figure out what to with the new information.

Roy returned his gaze to the cursed paper work on his desk. A gentle rattle and clicking sound that could easily be identified as a door knob, was heard. Mustang frowned when he looked up to see his best friend.

"Well, Roy, I was hoping to get a more welcome reaction." Maes joked, deciding to -maybe for the first time- reject the idea of bombarding Roy with new pictures of Elicia.

"Yeah, well, maybe, when I'm not swamped in paper work and I don't have a guilty conscience."

"Roy, you're going to work yourself to death. Just relax. I brought you something." Maes pulled a bottle of whisky from behind his back. "Thought you might need it."

"Okay, you're forgiven, but how the hell did you get that past Hawkeye? I always have to sneak my stash in when she isn't around."

"Well, I saw her leave the office then I ran for it."

"Lock the door and bring that over. I have a couple glasses in my desk."

"I thought you said you had work to do?" Hughes mocked.

"Don't be smart with me. Just bring it over here and sit down."

"Is that an order, _Colonel__?_" Maes prodded the cranky man. He crossed the room to his friend. He was right in front of Roy when he smelled the all familiar sent off alcohol.

"Were you drinking before I got here?" Hughes asked, concerned for his friend.

"A little." Roy answered.

Hughes wrinkled his nose.

"Smells like more than 'a little'."

"I'm not drunk, if that's what you think. Just come over here. I would rather not be scolded."

_'My brain is already doing a fine job of that.'_

"I wasn't going to scold you, Roy. Hawkeye will so you don't need me to. I just don't want you to get sick."

Maes pulled a chair right up to the desk and sat down. He took the two glasses that Mustang handed to him and filled them up. Roy took one of the glasses and downed it in a few seconds.

"Thanks, Maes, you really are a great friend."

"I know." Maes smirked, taking a sip of his own drink.

"You aren't supposed to say 'I know'. You are supposed to be humble." Mustang scolded, having his glass refilled only to be once again emptied, far too quickly.

There was a knock at the door and then Hawkeye let herself in.

"Oops, guess I forgot to lock the door." Hughes mumbled.

"Sir, you are supposed to be working." Hawkeye frowned.

"Lieutenant! I- umm- I- It was his idea!" Mustang felt ridiculous pointing to his friend like some child pointing at another kid who had done something wrong, but he was genuinely terrified of Hawkeye. Rightly so.

"Roy! How could you out me like that?!"

"I value my life."

"I think he's drunk-ish." Hughes said.

"Probably." Roy confirmed. "I haven't had anything to eat today."

"I'm going to walk out of here and, act like I didn't see anything, because I know what this is about, and I can let it slide just this once. Don't make it a habit. And I still need those papers, Sir. I won't forget." Hawkeye backed out of the room, leaving behind two very surprised men.

* * *

Hughes had no intention of getting drunk, but that seemed to be exactly what Roy planned to do.

"I hate paperwork, Hughes." Mustang slurred out for what may have been the tenth time.

"I know, Roy. You've told me several times." Maes smirked.

Roy tried to write on the next piece of paper, but as it turned out, he was not a very talented drunk writer. His signature came out as barely legible.

"Roy, maybe you should take this home with you, because I'm not completely sure that the higher ups will be pleased with your hand writing." Maes warned before his friend could ruin anymore of his paper work.

"I don't- I don't see anything wrong with it?" The Colonel said in a confused voice, almost as a question.

_'This is like talking with a child.' _Maes realised.

Mustang muttered something that Hughes hadn't caught.

"What?" Maes inquired.

"I can't take- take it with me. I nee- I need to empty out my- my guest room, and that will- will take up my whole ev- evening." Mustang barley got the words coming out of his mouth to form a sentence.

"Why do you need to clear out your guest room?"

"I invited Fullmetal- Fullmetal and his brother to spend some time with me- umm- with me at my- at my house before they return to- to- to Risembool for Fullmetal's- for his automail."

"Roy, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you already told me that you had a guilty conscience. Are you sure having Ed living in your home is the right choice?"

"My- my guilty conscience is the whole- the whole reason I'm doing this. I- I owe Fullmetal this. It's my- it's my faul-"

"Roy, stop saying this is your fault. It's not. Were you the one to crash that train?!" Hughes demanded.

"I- I- No, but I-"

"But, nothing, Roy! You didn't plant the explosives. You didn't cause that train to flip! It wasn't your fault! Stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't control!"

Roy smacked his head against the desk.

"This- this will help." Mustang didn't really sound sure of what he was saying.

"I'm not saying don't do this. I'm asking you to think about yourself. I don't know if this is the right way to relieve your guilt. Just think about it."

Roy lifted his head. "I have thought- thought this through. You said- you said you weren't going to scold me. If you scold me too much I might- I might change my mind, and I can't change my mind. You said you wouldn't scold me."

"This isn't the sam-" Maes started, stopping short when he noticed his friend's facial expression.

Mustang's face sobered in seconds as he caught sight of something written on some of his paper work. He looked like he wasn't sure if whatever was written there was really what was written.

"Maes, what- what does this say?" Mustang handed the Lieutenant Colonel the document, hoping that his best friend would tell him something, anything, but what he thought he saw on that paper.

"Roy, this is a discharge form."

* * *

**A/N: ****Sorry for the delay.**

**Please review and tell me what you think! It always means the world to me!**

**Also thank you for the reviews on last chapter.** **I've** **felt** **down** **for** **a** **while** **so** **they** **made** **me** **feel** **way** **better.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-_UNAU/IME_**


	13. Chapter 13

"What is the meaning of this?!" Roy demanded, throwing the discharge papers onto Hawkeye's desk.

Maes came rushing in from the inner office.

"Sir," Hawkeye looked down at the papers. She managed to keep a mostly strait face. Her eyes flickered wider for a second.

"Roy, Hawkeye wouldn't have any control over this matter." Mustang turned to his friend. He grabbed the papers off of his first Lieutenant's desk and went back into his office.

"I'm sorry," Maes apologised.

"This isn't my first encounter with Roy Mustang. There is no need for an apology, especially from you." Hawkeye deadpanned. "Go back in there, and make sure he doesn't do something stupid."

Maes followed the woman's order and followed Roy into the inner office.

Mustang was pounding the desk with his fist.

"Roy, stop that."

Mustang looked up at his friend.

"Is everything that kid had going to be taken from him?"

"They still have each other." Maes assured.

"I'm going to make sure they never lose each other." Mustang said voice like steel. "They will never lose each other."

* * *

Edward sat in the hospital bed reading a book on medical alchemy. He had done research before, when he had attempted the taboo, but never had much interest in it aside from that. He had perked an interest in the hopes of finding a possible cure for his new deafness. The philosopher's stone had come to mind, but first he needed an understanding of the medical alchemy he would perform.

A piece of paper was slipped between Edward's eyes and the book he was reading. Edward glanced up at Alphonse before looking back down at the paper.

_-Ed, the doctor will be coming back to check on you soon.-_

Edward groaned. The doctor wasn't really bad or anything. He just looked at Edward like he felt badly for him. Everyone did. It would be nothing if the doctor didn't make out so obvious.

Edward gave his brother a brief nod.

* * *

Alphonse frowned internally. Edward was acting so much like himself again, but still so different.

Alphonse sighed, "Oh, Brother."

There was a gentle knock at the door. A doctor came in with a nurse in tow. The doctor smiled.

"So, how's my patient today?" He asked Alphonse.

"Cranky," Alphonse warned.

The nurse smirked. "That's to bad. I hope he will feel better soon."

"Me too, Miss Roslyn." Alphonse replied.

"Alphonse, I said to call me Lily or Lillian. There is no reason to be so formal."

"Oh, yeah! Sorry!"

"Edward, how are you doing?" The doctor said, slowly and carefully with a short pause between words, when Edward looked up to acknowledge the newcomers.

There was a moment of silence while Edward connected the words. He nodded when he deciphered the message.

"I was hoping for more than a nod." The doctor prompted, again, speaking slowly.

Edward stopped. "G- good."

"That will have to do." The doctor said. Lillian smiled and turned to Alphonse.

"Is Edward still refusing to talk?"

"If it's just the two of us he might talk, but he doesn't seem to like talking with more people around."

"Hmm, so Edward's shy?"

"I don't know."

The doctor seemed interested. "If we left, do you think he would tell you what was wrong? If anything is wrong, that is."

"No, I don't think so. Edward doesn't like to say when something is wrong."

"Well, there goes that plan." The doctor smirked. He bent down so that he was shoulder to shoulder with Edward and reached out, touching Edward's upper arm. Edward flinched, pulling away from the doctor.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to surprise you." The doctor tried to calm Edward down, but Edward wasn't letting the doctor come near him. He glared at the doctor daring him to touch his arm again.

"Edward you can trust me." Edward continued his glare at the doctor, not making a single noise and not looking at the doctor's lips.

"Should I come later, or do you think I can give you a check up now?" The doctor asked, putting up both of his hands to show Edward that he wasn't going to touch him. Of course, he would have to touch Edward when he did the check up, but that didn't need to be said quite yet.

* * *

Edward wasn't seeking attention or anything, but he hated when people talked around him. He felt awkward. The inability to understand what they were saying was troublesome. Because then he couldn't know if it was important to him. For all he knew they could be talking about him behind his back. He trusted Alphonse not to, but the doctor? He didn't really know the doctor or the nurse. They could talk about Edward behind his back easily without a care, couldn't they?

Alphonse would stop them, wouldn't he? He wouldn't let them talk about Edward like that. Edward frowned. He wouldn't blame Alphonse if he had joined them when they talking about him. He had promised Alphonse that he would get his body back, but how could he if he was deaf? How could he keep his promise? Alphonse probably hated him now. So he couldn't trust Alphonse either?

Could he trust anyone anymore?

A hand made its way to Edward's shoulder. Edward jumped, wincing at the pain it caused his body to feel. He pulled away from the doctor who held Edward's shoulder. He glared at the man.

He was ticked, not even watching the pose of surrender the doctor took up or the moving of his lips.

_'How dare he touch me after what he was saying?! Wait, but he didn't say anything, did he?'_

Edward was confused but still angry. He continued to hold his glare.

* * *

The doctor had tried to help Edward, but the kid wouldn't let him near him. He seemed to see him as a threat of sorts.

"Doctor Richards, should we come back later?" Lillian asked the doctor, Doctor Richards.

"Yeah, we should come back when Edward has calmed down a little. And, Alphonse, if your brother experiences even more personality changes that you can notice, inform me because there is a chance that he could be experiencing some side effects of either his concussion or lack of sleep, which brings me to the question, is your brother sleeping at night?"

"I think so."

"Okay, that's good. He needs to get lots of sleep." Doctor Richards sighed and went on, "We will be back later. If all goes well we will have the check up then. Poor kid."

Alphonse watched them go. He sighed then turned to Edward. He pulled out a note book and wrote a simple question.

__What's the matter?__

Edward scribbled out some barely legible reply. _'So he isn't talking now either. Edward, please, get better. I'm tired of this.'_

__You should know.__

_'What? What does he mean 'You should know.'? What should I know?'_

* * *

Edward reached up to touch his burned cheek. He used his automail for the action, not wanting to move his burned arm. The most recent dose of pain medicine had worn off but Edward didn't want the doctor to come near him so he didn't complain. How could he really know anyway if the doctor was giving him real pain medicine and not something totally different?

_'__Because the pain is duller.' _Edward reminded himself.

Edward groaned his head hurt now. So now his back was in real agony, his flesh arm and part of his left cheek burned, his side was extremely tender, his lungs felt like they had some sort of pressure on them, his chest also hurt, and now his head was giving off waves of pain that at times felt like it was cracking Edward's skull in half.

Edward cracked his eyes open for at least the seventeenth time. He was insuring that no one had entered his room in the time he had his eyes closed.

Edward felt a hand touch his back. Alphonse. He couldn't possibly know that Edward was not asleep, right? Edward felt the large gauntlet rubbing circles into his back. What was Alphonse doing? Edward tried not to tense up at all and remain relaxed. He was probably not doing a very good job, but Alphonse didn't stop rubbing his back, and he probably wouldn't be doing it if he knew that Edward was truly awake.

Edward sneezed. He groaned in annoyance at his broken cover and the pain it caused him. The rubbing didn't stop, though. It stayed pretty much the same. Edward was glad that Alphonse seemed to be avoiding the burns pretty well because he didn't want to be in any more unnecessary pain. The odd thing was that the gentle rubbing of the oversized hand was very soothing. Maybe, Edward could rest and let Alphonse watch out for him. Maybe...

* * *

Alphonse sat there quietly reading his book like he had always done while his brother slept. The 'quietly' part was no longer necessary, but it was now a habit so it didn't matter. He read for a while until he heard the gentle sound of whimpering coming from the bed.

"Brother?" Alphonse shifted so that he was right by Edward. He hesitated for a moment contemplating whether or not to try comforting his brother. He decided to go with comforting. Edward wasn't awake to push him away so he could help his brother.

"It's okay. You're just fine. Just calm down," Alphonse started drawing circles with his leather gauntlet. Edward was a little tense like he was surprised. Alphonse kept drawing circles when Edward sneezed and groaned in pain. He whimpered slightly again.

"Edward, I'm so sorry it hurts. I might not be able to heal your wounds, but I'll always be here to help you. I know you can't hear me, and you're asleep, but I promise."

Alphonse didn't know how long he had stayed there rubbing Edward's back, but if he wasn't mistaken, he could hear Edward snoring lightly. Alphonse chuckled. "Just never forget what I promised you."

* * *

**A/N: I do know that Edward has an IV, but when I was in the hospital they gave me pain medicine through the IV when you asked or were very obviously in a great deal of pain.**

**I want to apologize to Squishyfishy. I forgot to mention you. Thanks for giving me the idea. That was actually exactly what I planned to do. You know great minds think alike! The offer for giving me ideas for the story still stands. Also the last chapter was hard to review because I deleted a chapter that wasn't actually a chapter.**

**Somesamedude PMed me asking me where I got the inspiration for my story. I thought that I would answer it here encase anyone was interested. I got my inspiration from a guy I met that was mostly deaf. He told me that he and his friends made a bomb when they were teenagers and that his friend and he were now mostly deaf (him) and completely deaf (his friend). He actually taught me how to make a bomb (I checked my science books it would potentially work).**

**I really hope you enjoy! Please review!**

_**-****UNAU/ IME**_


	14. Chapter 14

Hughes rolled his eyes.

"Roy, why do you still have this?" Maes held up a stuffed dinosaur. It had been a gift he bought for Roy on a night when they had been so wasted that both of them spent the whole night out doing random absurd things. Maes didn't even know what it was exactly. He tried to remember if the cashier had said what it was. No, she, or maybe he? He really couldn't remember, hadn't said anything. But this was a stegosaurus, right? Maybe?

"I don't know, Hughes. I really don't."

"Ha, remember right after I bought this? You tried hitting on that girl, and she socked you."

"No, I don't remember her, but I do remember that black eye. How come you remember? I thought we were both wasted."

"Oh, we were. But those two things were the highlights of my day. how could I forget them?"

"You jerk! You thought it was funny that that girl punched me?"

"That's what I said, Roy." Maes flung the stuffed stegosaurus at Roy.

Mustang laughed.

"When is Ed released from the hospital?" Mustang scowled. He didn't like being reminded of the boy. He especially didn't like thinking about the injuries and handicap the kid had been admitted for.

"Looks like he'll be out on Saturday." Roy sighed.

"That's good

"Yeah, but I'm not ready."

"Which is why we are cleaning out your spare room."

"No, by Saturday I can be physically ready, but mentally..."

"Roy, I hate to tell you, but you can never mentally prepared for the Elrics," Mustang didn't look pleased with Hughes' comment. He threw the stegosaurus back at Maes, hitting him in the head.

"Ed is going to be happy to be out of the hospital. five days is a long time to be stuck in bed and he still has two and a half days left. I bet he's counting the minutes till he's out," Maes smirked and closed up the box he had filled. "I'll go see him a little later."

* * *

Edward had repeatedly tried getting out of bed alone when no one was around so now no one trusted him. Not like he trusted them either. At the moment, Alphonse was trying to catch a kitten he had brought to show Edward. It was a golden kitten with a pair of golden eyes. Alphonse had probably brought it in so that Edward would be annoyed and tell him to get rid of it, but Edward just ignored the kitten. Alphonse had been distracted by his brother's odd behaviour and let the kitten run off by accident.

Now, Edward was climbing out of bed. He was leaning against the walls for support because of his malfunctioning automail. The knee kept locking up or it just wouldn't support his weight. This was honestly farther than Edward had ever gotten. He was always stopped while he was climbing out of bed. He yanked out the annoying IV and stumbled to the door. He fell as his knee gave out. Barely catching himself on the wall, Edward got back up. He looked down at wall to see a smear of blood. The place where his IV had been was covered in blood. Edward ignored it and opened the door.

The hall was busy but not crowded. Edward picked a direction and started walking, or limping. He was leaning heavily against the wall and traveling at a very slow pace. A hand gripped his shoulder. Edward jumped back and upset his balance. He fell to the ground infront of a man. Edward's face adopted an expression of surprise and fear that then turned to anger.

"Don't touch me!"

* * *

Michael John was looking for his sister's hospital room when he saw several drops of blood on the ground. They made up a trail, which was worrying. Michael changed his path in order to follow the droplets. He saw a young boy stumbling down the hallway. The kid was dressed in a mint green hospital garb and was bleeding from what was probably his IV puncture.

"Hey, kid, are you okay? You're bleeding." The kid made no indication that he had even heard Michael. "Kid? Kid?!"

Michael grabbed the boy's shoulder. The kid jumped and fell. He looked up at Michael with a fearful look and slightly defensive position. "I'm so sorry, kid. Are you okay I didn't mean t-"

"Don't touch me!" The boy's face changed, becoming angry. Michael jumped back. He didn't know why, but there seemed to be a different meaning behind the words.

"Mister Elric! What are you doing?" The nurse that ran up turned to Michael. "I'm sorry, Sir. Are you okay? I saw you jump back."

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, but is he okay?"

"Yes, he'll be fine."

The boy started to shiver. He curled up on himself.

"What happened to him?" Michael asked, a sad sort of look on his face.

"He was in that train derailment. I can't really tell you anymore."

Michael nodded sympathetically and turned to leave, "Wait, can you tell me why he wasn't answering me?"

The nurse frowned. "He's deaf." Michael scowled. He turned and walked off glancing back at the boy.

* * *

Edward curled up on himself. He screwed his eyes tightly shut. He felt cold, and his chest hurt. Breathing was steadily getting harder. His breath just didn't want to come. Edward tried to take in the next breath but his chest felt constricted.

He didn't want to feel like this. He felt sick. Something wasn't right. Something was defiantly wrong.

* * *

Lillian didn't want to scare the boy but he was acting like it was hard for him to breathe.

"Oh," Lillian's face darkened when she realised what was happening.

"Lillian, is he alright?" Another nurse asked coming up behind her. Lillian jumped a little.

"No, I think he's having a panic attack."

The other nurse nodded and asked, "Do you want me to get some sertraline?"

"No, wait a minute. I'm going to see if I can calm him down," She poor her hands on Edward's shoulders.

* * *

Someone gripped Edward's shoulders. His chest felt like someone was sitting on him and it only got worse as the hands stayed on his shoulders. Edward tried to take in the next breath but the oxygen he needed wasn't coming. The fingers on his left hand were numbing now. His eyes lazily opened up again, vision being met with blurry images.

Edward tried to speak upon noticing the nurse. He was having a hard enough time finding the breath, but now he didn't think that he could even try to talk.

By some miracle his voice bubbled out, "Ca.. n't... Breath..."

The nurse turned her back on him and seemed to speak to another blur. Edward was too exhausted and oxygen starved to try to imaging what they might be saying. He felt like something was closing in on him. Someone? A danger? Death? Was he going to suffocate?

_'No, no!'_

Edward honestly felt like he was about to pass out. But if he passed out would he suffocate in his unconscious state? Wouldn't that be better than suffocating awake? Edward chocked. Then he couldn't take the next breath. His panic grew, but he still couldn't breathe. Edward had no idea how much time passed, but suddenly he felt a glass touch his lips. A cool citrus flavor met his tongue. Then he choked.

_'They are trying to drown me!'_

Edward tried to fight but he was too weak. Some of the citrus liquid somehow made its way down Edward's throat, not drowning him. A prick in his arm followed, making him even more panicky.

"No! Stop! Don't- don't hur..." Edward's flesh hand was already numb but now the numbing was all the way up his arm and spreading over his whole body.

"Al... I... wan..." Edward felt arms wrap themselves around him. Then it all got dark and fuzzy.

* * *

"Al... I... wan..." Lillian turned to the other nurse as Edward trailed off.

"Find his brother, a boy in a large suit of armour, and tell him that I have Edward and that he's fine."

Lillian slipped her arms under Edward's knees and around his shoulders, lifting him.

"Woah! pphffff, Edward you are so heavy."

"Ma'am, are you okay? You look like you could use some help?" a man offered.

"A little help would be appreciated."

"Let me take him- Ed?" The man looked surprised and confused.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you at first. Was it Huggies?"

"Hughes," The man said taking a half conscious Edward. "What happened?"

"He had a panic attack after escaping his room. He wouldn't take any medicine so we had to give him a gentle sedative."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"So is chocking and not being able to breathe," Hughes'eyes widened.

"That bad?" He glanced down at the boy in his arms as he followed the nurse down the hall.

_'I imagine Roy will have a harder time than he thought. I hope that he knows what he's getting himself into.'_

* * *

**A/N: No, I won't teach anyone how to make a bomb. Sorry for the delay. I had my Wi-Fi pretty much fail me. I also started a new story.**

**Thank you for the reviews. I love reading them.**

**_-UNAU/IME_**


	15. Chapter 15

Edward stared at the ceiling. He was tired but ever since his panic attack, which Alphonse freaked out about and unfairly blamed himself for at that time, he had found sleeping even harder. What if he fell asleep and had one in his sleep? Would he suffocate? Could he have a panic attack in his sleep? He hadn't asked. He hadn't really wanted to think about it at the time.

Edward saw a panic inducing movement out of the corner of his eye.

"No!" A hand reached out and touched Edward's shoulder. He shook with fear. "Don't, please, don't! I didn't do anything. I don't even..." Edward hadn't known that he'd been talking, but he trailed off quickly when he came to the realisation that Alphonse was the one to touch his shoulder. Edward actually started to cry. It may have been relief that it wasn't Gunner Pierce, but it also may have been the long hours lying sleeps and in fear. Whatever it was, Edward sobbed. He couldn't keep this up, could he? He was breaking down. His life was falling apart. Alphonse. He needed his little brother.

Edward tried to move closer to Alphonse but the IV, which had to be moved to Edward's wrist, was being pulled taut. "A- Al... I want to..." He trailed off, gasping between sobs. Edward ripped out his IV line with his automail hand. He lunged at Alphonse from the hospital bed. Edward surely would have fallen face forward onto the tiles if not for Alphonse's quick hands. Unfortunately, Alphonse hadn't been fast enough to save the IV, though. Edward sobbed and Alphonse just held him. Alphonse probably should have gone to get a doctor, but he couldn't just leave Edward. Edward couldn't just be left alone. And Alphonse wasn't ready to disturb Edward's release of emotions.

The floor was now home to Alphonse's armour, Edward's blood, and the sobbing owner of the blood. "Al... Al... Al..." Edward just kept repeating it over and over again between his racking sobs. There was no way this was normal. Edward sobbed and just clung to Alphonse like Alphonse was his last life line. Like all the rest had snapped and all he was left as was a depressed kid.

The tears just kept coming, choking the boy they escaped. Soon the sobbing was reduced to a quiet sniffle and a few tear tracks. Soon after that Edward was quiet. He had fallen asleep, too exhausted to keep going in his uncharacteristic breakdown.

Alphonse just remained sitting there with his brother sleeping in his lap. He was a little scared of the panic Edward had experienced. It was just not like Edward at all to show weakness, and surely he would have thought of the tears as weakness. It was just the way Edward saw it. But crying wasn't a sign of weakness but of humanity. Edward's tears hadn't shown Alphonse that his brother was weak but that like every other human, Edward had reached his breaking point. It shouldn't have happened to him like this, but this was when it happened. Alphonse was just glad that he had been there to hold Edward as he fell asleep.

* * *

Mustang was cleaning up his library. He was making sure that he didn't leave any of his research there. He intended to let Alphonse and Edward read as they pleased but there was no way that he could have either one of those prodigies learn about the secrets of flame alchemy. He had not burned Hawkeye's back so that there could be another pyromaniac out there. By no means did Roy think Edward or Alphonse would ever be a pyromaniac, but things never tended to stay silent once someone knew the secret.

Roy had no desire to have to face the consequences of his secret escaping.

That was the last of it. All the books were dusted off and replaced back on the shelves.

One day left. There was one day left. Tomorrow Edward would be released from the hospital. He would stay with Roy. This was a mistake. This was a mistake! Roy couldn't do this. He couldn't take care of two boys. But he couldn't back out now.

_Edward probably doesn't even want my help._

"He would be better at the dorms..." _But he can't stay the dorms. And he doesn't know about the discharge yet._ Roy sighed. He'd already made the commitment. He needed to do this at least until Edward was well enough to go to Resembool and have his automail repaired. At least one week maybe two. He surely wouldn't kill Edward in that time.

"I need to calm down. Edward wouldn't be the one to die. I would," Roy said frowning.

There was a loud knock at the front door. Roy sighed. He climbed up the stairs and out of the basement with the last box of his research under his arm. He set the box on the couch and went to open the door.

Maes Hughes stood there with a box suspiciously the size of a pie.

"You remember this is my house and you have your own, right?" Maes smiled widely.

"Nice to see you again too!" Maes slid past Roy, careful of his box.

"That box better have something really good in it," Roy said as he shut the front door.

"It's for when Edward is here."

"Then why did you bring it now?"

"We need to talk. Have you gone to see Edward recently?" Roy looked guilty.

"It's been a few days. What about it?"

Maes sighed and looked unto Roy's eyes. "He had a panic attack. They had to sedate him."

Roy felt his gut twist. This was definitely going to be harder on him than he first anticipated. Now, his fearful reconsideration only earlier had reason, but not a valid enough reason to break his word but reason.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't go back and tell the kid 'I'm sorry but because you're flawed, and I think you will be to much work you can't come and stay with me'."

"That's not what I was going to say! Roy, he might need more... He might need more help."

Roy gave Maes a questioning look. "What are you going at? A therapist? Maes, you know how well that went for me. Do you think Ed will like it anymore then I did?"

"No, Roy, I think you should talk to him about the times you had attacks."

"Talk," Roy whispered sardonically.

"You know what I mean!" Hughes said exasperated.

"Hughes... You know I can't do that."

"Why not?" Maes questioned.

"I don't..."

"Maybe because you don't want to look weak? Well, Roy, Edward is weak. He needs to know that it's okay to be weak."

"I would rather drink a barrel of whiskey than look weak in front of one of my subordinates."

"Roy, in the time that Edward was admitted I wouldn't be surprised if you had. You can't just drown all your problems in alcohol." Maes wanted his friend to stop his unhealthy behavior.

"Not now, Hughes," Roy groaned to his friend.

"Just be there for Ed." Hughes went to the door. "I just came to tell you about Ed. I'll see you tomorrow when we pick up the boys. And don't eat that pie!"

* * *

When the nightly nurse came in for her rounds, she was rather annoyed with Alphonse. She called in a doctor and scolded Alphonse with a tight expression.

"Stop that. He didn't know. He was just staying with his family," The doctor said to the nurse.

"He surely knew that he should have gotten someone."

"I'm sorry. I would have gone to get a doctor, but he- he was crying. H- he wanted me. I couldn't... I couldn't just leave him."

The doctor had a sympathetic understanding look on his face. "It's fine. I'm Doctor James Wise, by the way. I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting yet." The doctor outstretched his hand to show his greeting.

"No, I'm Alphonse Elric." Alphonse met the outstretched hand with his gauntlet.

"Nice to meet you Alphonse. I am glad you didn't leave your brother, but sometimes it's safer to get a doctor. If your brother was in pain than we could have helped," The doctor grew steadily more serious as he spoke.

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't think..."

"No, no, it's fine," The doctor said, all seriousness dropping from his voice. "Just next time be more careful."

"Yes, Sir."

"Oh, don't call me 'sir'. Call me Wise or James."

"Okay, James?" Alphonse said somewhat awkwardly.

The man smiled. "Now, let's just hope we don't have another incident like this."

* * *

**A/N: So sorry. This had been sitting in my manager waiting to be edited for about two weeks. I've been having migraines so sorry.** **And also sorry it really isn't that good.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**_-UNAU/IME_**


	16. Chapter 16

Edward didn't care what anyone was doing right now. Well, He did care to some extent. He cared what they were saying, because he knew It was about him, but what did It matter, now?

Edward buried himself in the covers of his bed. _Get away! Get away! If you can't see them, you don't have to think about them._

A hand rested on Edward's flesh shoulder through the blanket. He made no reaction. He was tired, too tired to care right now. He would have tried to push the hand away if he had the strength, but he just felt numb. The hand shook his shoulder. He stayed completely limp and let his body be shaken. He allowed his shoulders to follow the movement of the hand.

Edward shut his eyes against the dulled down light that filtered through his duvet. He let himself be nearly shut off, ignoring everything. The hand, the shaking, the pain, and the silence.

* * *

Roy glanced back at Edward. The kid was still lying in the hospital bed with his younger brother by his side. The doctor had just finished telling Roy about the medications they planned to use and when to have Edward take them. The worst part of the whole conversation was when he told Roy how to handle a panic attack.

"His hearing will probably cause a series of problems if he does end up having a panic attack. We can't be sure if the panic attacks will be a regular thing. If he does have a panic attack, don't hold him. That might make it worse. Try reminding him to breathe normally. Because of the state of his ears, try using touch, but nothing constricting..." He had gone on, giving him a bunch more information, including the fact that if Edward didn't calm down it might end up being necessary to sedate him.

Roy didn't want to do that to Edward. He had been the reason Edward was suffering. If he hadn't sent Edward on that mission, Edward would be perfectly fine. He didn't feel right sedating the kid for something that was his fault. He would if it came to that, though. He couldn't let the boy work himself up into a panic.

They turned to the boy at the sound of rusting sheets and the slightest whimper.

"Brother?"

Edward had buried himself under the sheets. Roy came closer along with the doctor. He rested his hand on Edward's shoulder through the duvet. The boy made no move to pull away, which surprised Roy. The boy never liked anyone to touch him, but Roy had been informed that it was worse now than before.

"Fullmetal?" Roy asked out of habit. He gently shook the kid's shoulder assuming that the boy was just ignoring the touch. Edward limply followed the movement. Roy had expected Edward to fight against the hand just to spite the person who shook him, but he didn't.

Roy shook Edward's shoulders again, ignoring the fact that he might be causing Edward unnecessary pain.

Alphonse uncovered Edward, pulling the blankets away from his older brother's head.

Edward had his eyes screwed shut. He didn't act like he knew that they had removed the blanket at all.

Doctor Wise, the one who had approached with Roy, took Edward's wrist into his hand. Finding Edward's pulse, Doctor Wise pulled out his pocket watch, watching how the pulse corresponded with the ticking.

"His pulse is far too fast for him to be asleep."

"Then what happened? Why is he acting like he's asleep?" Alphonse demanded in a panic. He was worried. Edward hadn't done this before.

"Why isn't he responding to anything?" Mustang questioned.

"I, unfortunately, don't have an answer for you. It can be because off a wide range of reasons. I don't know how this originated. It could be something similar to a panic attack."

"Then what are you going to do about it?" Alphonse asked, worried and hopeful.

"I don't know. We can't just use a medication." The doctor placed his hand on Edward's cheek, the side that wasn't covered with a bandage because of burns. Edward didn't react. Next the doctor thumbed open one of Edward's eyes. His eye was glazed and unfocused. "That's different," Doctor Wise muttered quietly.

"What is it?" Alphonse asked.

"His eyes are unfocused. It's like he's asleep while still being awake. It might just be refusal to respond. He also might be unresponsive because of something that is hurting him."

They sat there waiting for something to happen. Time passed by at a slow pace as they waited there for the boy to snap out of the dazed, sleep-like state he was trapped in. The minutes felt like hours as they stockpiled.

"I- I'm- I'm so sorry!" Edward shouted in a panic. He shivered and curled up on himself. His abrupt shout surprised the group. They all jumped up on surprise.

Alphonse grabbed his brother's shoulder gently. "Brother?"

Edward sat up on the bed, wincing in pain. He looked terrified. He was panting and looked tired. "What...?" He noticed Roy Alphonse and the doctor watching him.

"He's..." Edward trailed off. He gasped and stopped moving. "I don't want to go back there..."

"Back where?" Roy questioned. Edward didn't answer. He didn't even try to read Roy's lips. He just stared at his hands in horror.

Hughes entered the room at that very moment, looking lost when he noticed something was very wrong with everyone in the room. "What happened?" Maes slid in, quietly whispering to his friend.

"We don't know. It kind of reminds me of the..." Roy trailed off and looked into his confused friend's eyes. "Hughes, I have a bad feeling."

* * *

Edward was sucked out of the darkness and into a field. It was familiar like a nightmare was. He looked around, watching the grass be whipped by the wind. He himself was blown by the wind a well. Everything was silent. Completely silent. It seemed so out of place in the field. The wind should have whistled and the flailing grass should have filled the air with its arrangement of noises. Where were all the noises?

Edward spun on his heels. He was faced with a train speeding towards him. No! Edward couldn't speak; he couldn't move. He just stood there as the train derailed. It was coming at him with an incredible speed, digging a furrow into the soil. He couldn't move; he couldn't even run.

The train hit him, and his body passed through the walls of the engine. He fell to the ground and looked up at a brown haired man who stood above him barring a pipe. He knew what was coming. The jagged end of the pipe ripped through Edward's flesh. He wanted to scream, but his voice refused to work.

Edward looked for someone to help him, but he was alone with a man that wanted him dead. Edward didn't even know why which is what scared him most.

"Die for your crimes!" The man shouted. It was the only thing Edward could hear. He lunged at Edward.

"I- I'm- I'm so sorry!" Edward tried to defend himself. He curled in on himself in pain. He shut his eyes, feeling blood seep from his wounds. A gentle touch. One that was so welcoming. He opened his eyes. He was back in the hospital.

Edward sat up against the the pain in his whole body. He was taking fast breaths. What just happened? He was going to ask those around him when he realised that they were staring at him. He stopped.

It took Edward a moment to realise that the doctor, who had a similar build and brown hair, was not the man who attacked him. He's not the one. Edward didn't even know that he started saying that out loud only to trail off.

Edward gasped and froze when it dawned on him that he had never actually been in that field. "I don't want to go back there..." He told the others.

Edward stared down at his clean hands there wasn't any blood on them. That terrified Edward because it had felt so real. How could there not be any blood?

He didn't notice Roy's question or Hughes coming in. He was fixated on finding out why he had dreamt that, because he could have sworn that he had been awake, so why did he dream something like that while he was awake?

* * *

Mustang stole glances at Edward as they left the hospital. His hair was limp and loose as he was being pushed out the doors in a wheelchair by male nurse.

Edward's unresponsiveness earlier in the hospital had almost caused him to have to stay at the hospital longer. An extended stay at the hospital was not what Edward needed. The hospital staff had already told Roy that Edward was likely under a lot of stress. Getting out of the hospital early like he was was only because they didn't think it would be healthy to keep him much longer. He needed a safe environment. Not that the hospital wasn't safe, just that he wasn't going to heal as quickly if he was always anxious.

Roy couldn't help but wonder if his home was going to be any better. Edward might feel just as panicked and stressed at Roy's home as he was at the hospital. Edward and Roy had a strange relationship, not stable in the slightest. Rocky at best. Wouldn't that just make Roy's home a cesspool of anxiety and stress? Add to that that Edward might be having flashbacks. Roy only guessed that because Edward's reactions earlier reminded him of his own flashbacks. Ones that his best friend, Maes, had pulled him out of. This was not how Mustang had imagined everything going. He hadn't really understood what he was getting himself into.

Roy glanced at Maes this time. They locked eyes. Maes nodded. It was like Hughes could read Roy's mind. The confirming nod made him realise that he wasn't alone in this. That was a relief, because he knew that he was going to need all the help he could get.

* * *

**A/N: I am aware that the pipe that cut Edward's side was not the one that Pierce used, but Edward's memories of the incident aren't all there. He is just trying to fill in the blanks.**

**Sorry about the chapter this is my third time rewriting it. It isn't getting any better.**

**Please review! Thanks for reading!**

**-_UNAU/IME_**


	17. Chapter 17

Edward felt the vibrations from the vehicle as they sped along the pavement. He was in a great deal of pain. Now that he didn't have drugs pumping into his system non-stop, he was feeling more pain. It was also the way he sat and probably the moving around he was doing. He watched as the city moved past his window. It was quiet. Of course, it was, but it felt so unnatural. Even after a whole week in complete silence, Edward couldn't stand the quiet atmosphere. He hated sitting in the silence and knowing it wasn't really quiet.

Edward Looked away from the window to Alphonse at his side. He was sitting there glancing at Edward every few seconds. Alphonse likely was trying not to make it obvious that he was watching Edward with every chance that came. Edward knew, however that Alphonse was watching him. He was trying to keep an eye on Edward. _What was the reason? _Edward kept asking himself. _Does he think I'm unable to even breathe without his hand to guild me? Am I that invalid? _Edward shivered.

Alphonse's hand touched his shoulder, reminding him of the numb feeling that had taken over earlier. It had stolen his breath when he had found himself in a dream so terrifying and vivid. A dream that wouldn't allow him to wake up.

Edward Looked up at his younger brother. "A- Al?"

Alphonse cocked his head a little to the side. His helmet didn't show expression so it was hard to read what his brother was thinking.

Edward guessed that he must have looked lost and confused, because Alphonse gently took his hand and held it palm up. He didn't say anything as he glanced up at Alphonse from his hand.

Alphonse pressed his over-sized finger against Edward's soft fleshy palm. He began tracing over it in a pattern that was familiar. The feeling was on the verge of being ticklish. It took a moment for Edward's brain to process that they were letters from the Alphabet. Alphonse poked the centre of Edward's hand as if to say, "look here." He began with an easily identifiable uppercase "A".

"Is it 'A'?" Edward asked. He was answered with a nod. The next letter confused Edward. It was strange. "Umm... 'B'?"

Alphones's helmet went side to side, indicating that he had been wrong. The letter was repeated against his palm. This time Edward was more sure of himself. "'R'?" He asked. Alphonse nodded; to Edward's relief. He was right, so he had, A-R... Edward frowned. "Are you spelling the word 'are'?"

Alphonse nodded again. Next came the letter "Y".

"'Y'?" Alphonse nodded again. He produced with another letter.

"'O'?" Alphonse nodded as Edward gave his answer. He was about to proceed with the next letter, but Edward stopped him.

It didn't take long for Edward to understand the question. "'Are you okay'?"

Alphonse nodded, motioning with his hands to Edward.

"I'm fine, Al."

Alphonse shook his head. He started writing into Edward's palm again.

Edward gave Alphonse a confused look as he repeated the same letter again. "Is it- umm- is it 'T'?" Alphonse nodded, making Edward feel stupid for not knowing at first.

They kept at it at a slow pace as Edward realised how time consuming even spelling out one word was. To add to the "T", they had "R, U, T, H, F, U, L, L, and, Y". To be completely honest, though, Edward knew what was coming after he had gotten to the second "T".

"I'm really fine," Edward said, a bit annoyed and showing it. He wasn't as patient today as he was most days with Alphonse. He didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts, but that was really just a lie to his own face.

Alphonse pulled back as if he had been burned, which was a physical impossibility.

Edward felt like he should say something, but didn't really know what to say. He squished himself into the door of the car, feeling the icy crawls of pain. Should he tell Alphonse that he was sorry? He was, but he didn't want to say it because then Alphonse would wonder of he was really okay.

He was _really_ okay. At least, that's what he was telling himself.

* * *

"Colonel Mustang?" Alphonse asked from the back seat.

The Colonel glanced back through the rear view mirror as Maes Hughes turned in his seat. They both saw the boy squishing himself against the car door, which looked unbearably uncomfortable for Edward with the knowledge of his broken ribs, burned back, and the deep gash in his right side, which was the very side being pressed into the car door.

Hughes turned further, leaning back and placing a hand on Edward's knee. Edward turned away from the window slowly. He met eyes with Hughes. His eyes looked like a golden voids with an empty depression deep inside them. "Are you okay, Ed?"

Annoyance flashed in his eyes the moment he realised what Hughes had asked. "I'm fine. Stop asking me if I'm okay. I said I was okay! I said I was fine! Listen to me the first time! _You're_ _not__ deaf__!_ That's _me_!"

There was a tense, awkward silence in the air. It was sad, but Hughes almost thought that that might have been the most Edward has said at once all week. He hadn't wanted to talk. Not even to Alphonse. Though, he was more open with Alphonse than the others.

Roy wondered what he should say or do to help Edward. It was up to him to take care of him while they waited another week for Edward's bruises to fade and his slashed side to knit itself further together. His wounds wouldn't be completely better in a week, honestly he probably wouldn't be much better at all. His bruises should be gone like the small cuts that had previously covered Edward's person.

He would be going home to have his automail fixed by his mechanic. Roy was ignorant of Edward and Alphonse's plan past this point. He didn't think Edward would give up on returning his brother to normal, but he still didn't know what the plan was. He wasn't part of that. He was only planning on watching out for the Elrics while they stayed with him. He would only be intruding if he tried to invade further into their lives. Had he not already ruined Edward's life? The answer to that was obvious. Edward's deafness was like a harsh slap to the face because it was his fault. He had sent Edward out on that mission. Edward could have died instead of just losing his hearing. If he had died, he would have left Alphonse all alone. So, now, as he played those words of Edward's through his head, he couldn't help but find another meaning behind them. An accusation. He was accusing Roy of taking it from him. His hearing. Edward was the only one who understood what it was like to sit in silence quieter than if everything was still.

Roy made a decision that he wasn't sure about. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park. Hughes immediately was unbuckled and was out of the car. He went to open Edward's door only to find it locked.

"Please, open up, Ed!" He knocked on the glass, knowing Edward wouldn't hear him but it was worth the try to catch the boy's eye. Edward ignored the act. He was focused solely on the back of Hughes' seat.

Alphonse reached past Edward, unlocking the door but also holding onto his brother. Edward was leaning heavily on the car door, and if they weren't careful Edward would surely topple out of the car and onto the ground.

Hughes opened the door and grabbed Edward's propped up shoulder.

It was so light and quiet that Hughes wasn't sure if he had really hear it at all.

"Please, don't touch me... please." It was so unlike Edward. "It hurts..." His eyes were screwed shut, maybe, against the pain, or, maybe, so that he could ignore people efficiently.

"Tell me where it hurts," Hughes said, knowing full well that Edward couldn't read his lips with his eyes closed. Alphonse started writing something into Edward's palm.

"Everything. I want to lie down. My head..." Edward trailed off at the end.

Maes Hughes put his hand to Edward's head and gently messaged various areas of his forehead.

"Hey, Roy, concussions can cause changes in one's attitude, correct?"

That was something the doctor had said.

_"Don't worry if he seems somewhat out of character in the upcoming weeks. Concussions can do that to a person. Seeing as Major Elric has not slept well, or at least upon what we've gathered, the concussion will take longer than usual to heal. In an environment that is less stressful on his body he is more likely to be at rest, though."_

"Yeah, Doctor Wise mentioned that." Hughes nodded and continued messaging the boy's forehead.

"Roy, I think we just need to go to your place and let him lie down." Roy was feeling awkward. He couldn't leave his best friend doing everything for Edward because then what happens when Hughes wasn't there? Maes couldn't sacrifice all his time on helping Roy take care of two boys that he was in charge of. From here on, it was his responsibility. He needed to take responsibility for watching out for Edward. He couldn't help the the horrible pit of dread that had made its home in his twisted, clenched stomach. He remembered the pie visit with Hughes. He was being selfish not to agree to that, but Edward seriously didn't need more of "Roy's help". But it was true that this wasn't supposed to be easy. This was supposed to free him of the guilt that had only grown worse and more suffocating since day one of this nightmare. It might hurt both parties, but it was all for their own good. Still, Roy knew he couldn't be that open with Edward. Not because he couldn't trust Edward. He just didn't want- He felt nearly sick at the thought of showing Edward, out of all of his subordinates, his own weaknesses.

Roy started up the car again. Hughes made sure that Alphonse had Edward away from the door as he shut it and climbed back into the passenger seat.

They set off once again. This time, though, Edward was messaging his forehead with his flesh hand while winching at the pain caused by his burns as his arm bent to reach his head. Alphonse sort of wondered what had set Edward off so suddenly. He couldn't have freaked out like that for no reason, right? Was it really something to do with his concussion?

Roy's house stood in the near distance, therefore ending the eventful ride to the relief of everyone. Unfortunately, they all knew that it wouldn't get much better going inside.

* * *

**A/N: So, I've**** wanted to do this for awhile. This is a proper apology to everyone reading this story. When I first started, I hadn't read the manga or watched either anime in awhile because of school so everything is really disorderly timeline wise and also just the setting in general. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I won't go back and change the story, though. I just wanted you to know that I understand that it's not right.** **And I will try to have it more right** **from now on.**

**Thanks for all the response!**

**-UNAU/IME**


	18. Chapter 18

Edward was in pain, but he blatantly refused help beyond someone to lean on, and he refused it from anyone other than Alphonse. He didn't want them to touch him because then he'd have to admit that he needed their help.

Hughes opened the car door as Mustang went to the front door to unlock his home.

Edward waited, placing a hand on his head. He was trying to knead out his headache.

Warm hands went to his temples. They weren't his, but he changed his mind about fighting against it when the messaging gave him the tiniest bit of relief.

"...Can do it myself..." Edward said through his clenched teeth after a minute. He looked to Hughes with Alphonse standing behind him. Hughes nodded and pulled his hands away respectfully. Edward didn't really want the relieving touch to leave, but he wanted to have his say heard. Now Hughes has helped and he couldn't say that all he had needed was Alphonse.

Hughes moved away, allowing Alphonse to take a place in the doorway of the car. Edward's little brother reached into the car, hesitating before touching his brother's shoulders.

Edward reached up, grabbing his younger brother's armour forearms. The gesture showed that Edward was willing to take, much needed, help from his brother.

It was, honestly, unfair to the others to keep pushing them away when they were only trying to help Edward out. All this stuff happening had put him on guard, though.

Alphonse picked up on the hint and took Edward's hand, writing in it again. The first letter was obvious. "It's 'C'."

Alphonse confirmed the assumption with a nod. The next letter that followed was easy to decipher. "'A'?" Another nod.

The next letter was different it seemed a little harder. "'B'?" Edward asked, unsure of his answer.

Alphonse shook his head. He wrote it again, more slowly this time.

Edward's brows were furrowed. He glared at his palm like it had betrayed him. The letter was formed, and the confused, annoyed expression snapped away, being replaced by a look of realization. "'R'?"

Alphonse nodded and drew it again.

Edward was confused. Then it dawned on him. "Two."

Alphonse confirmed it and began drawing a "Y".

"No. No, I don't want that," Edward hissed.

Alphonse pulled back a little, making Edward's gut twist with guilt.

"I'm sorry. I don't- I want to walk." Edward looked down at his lap.

* * *

"I understand, Brother. I just want to help." Alphonse knew Edward couldn't hear him. It was painful to know that Edward couldn't understand him unless he wrote it down or drew it out. He had lost one of the only things he could actually do with his brother. He couldn't_ really_ touch his brother, and he couldn't smell him. However odd that may sound, he wanted to. After not being able to feel or smell or taste anything for so long, it was something he would have to admit that he wanted.

Edward looked up from his lap. "Al."

Alphonse snapped his attention back to the present moment. "Yes, Ed?" _Why do you keep talking when he can't hear a word you're saying? _

"I can't- would you..." Edward was once again staring into his lap.

Alphonse knew that it must be hard for Edward to ask for help. That would likely be a challenge. He was used to not needing help, but now it was something that he couldn't go without, and he didn't want that to be the case.

Alphonse knew what Edward wanted to ask without even needing any words to be spoken. He started to guide Edward out of the car.

Edward looked a little surprised. "I- I didn't even..."

Alphonse shook his head and put a finger to his armour face. It was the universal signal for silence.

Edward's mouth snapped shut. He allowed Alphonse to silently, on both accounts, guide him out if the vehicle.

The slow, limping tread of Edward's mismatched feet and broken automail was supported along the way to the house's front door by his little brother. He nearly fell quite a few times. Luckily, though, he was caught mid-fall by Alphonse on those occasions.

Once inside Edward sat heavily down on the sofa with a long satisfied sigh. Hughes went into the kitchen, promising to return in a moment.

Edward leaned into the back of the couch. It stung a little, but the relief easily outweighed the pain. He let his head fall back and his eyes shut. He willed away the headache that was building in pressure every second. He was taking in long deliberate breaths in an attempt to soothe the roaring lion that gnawed at his chewed out brain.

Something icy-cold touched Edward's arm, causing him to gasp and pull away. Edward's eyes had opened in that time and were now laying on the face of an apologetic looking Maes Hughes.

"I'm sorry," played off of the man's lips. Edward nodded back, showing that the act was forgiven. Now, Edward's gaze fell on the glass of ice-water that had "wronged him". It was being offered to him by Hughes.

"U- umm, thanks." Edward took the glass but didn't drink anything from it.

Maes started to speak. Edward only caught some of the words "Roy is... some... for you."

Edward furrowed his brows but didn't press for answers and none were offered by the man.

* * *

Roy opened the bag of medicines, rifling through them for the intended capsules and medicines. He pulled out all the bottles, placing them on the counter. He sorted them quickly, finding the ones he wanted. The rest were all placed in the top cabinet. Roy immediately checked the dosage on the side of the bottle, already forgetting the doctor's earlier instructions. They couldn't expect him to remember everything, though, right? He pulled a cup out of another cabinet and dropped the medication in. The capsules rattled when they hit the bottom of the cup.

Maes's voice traveled into the kitchen from the living room. "Roy is getting some medicine for you."

Roy frowned as he picked up the pill-bottles and placed them into the cabinet with the rest of Edward's medication. He Also grabbed the bag that had previously held the medicine. It wasn't empty. At the bottom was something Mustang didn't want to use. The syringes. It just felt wrong to think that he should do that to Edward. Neither the giving nor the receiving party would enjoy the experience. There was also the sense of dread that they might be needed at some point, and Roy wasn't sure he could do it without feeling sick to his stomach. He discarded the bag, placing it in the cupboard with the medicine near the back so he wouldn't have to see it. He shut the cupboard door.

With that out of mind, he grabbed the cup and made his way into the living room.

Edward scowled when Roy approached. He had seen the contents of the cup. "That for me?" he asked.

Roy frowned and sighed at Edward's reaction. He nodded. "Yes, it is. It should help with the pain."

Edward looked like he wanted to resist but took the cup anyway. He emptied the the pills into his palm and eyed them studiously.

"They aren't going to kill you. I wouldn't poison you. Especially, not in my own home." Edward didn't react to Mustang's words. Of course, he didn't. He was deaf.

Edward popped all the pills into his mouth at once.

"Wait, Brother, Don't do that! You might choke!" It really was too late to try and stop him. He had already brought the glass of water to his lips and was washing down the medicine. "Brother," Alphonse groaned.

Hughes chuckled merrily at the brothers and skipped back into the kitchen. He came back shortly with a large slice of pie and a fork for Ed. Hughes waited for Ed to look up at his face. "Gracia made that for you. She wanted to be sure you got at least one thing that was cooked right while staying with Roy." Roy hissed at that.

"Hughes, I know how to cook!"

"Oh, come on, Roy. Is that what you call that what you call a charred pile of what was previously food?" Hughes teased.

"One time. That was one time!" Roy defended himself as Alphonse giggled, and Edward watched them in confusion, only catching a few words here and there.

"One time means once. That didn't happen once," Hughes said nearly choking on laughter.

Roy looked miserable and Edward was just excitedly digging into the pie. "I don't know. I think anything's better than hospital food," Edward said through an overstuffed mouth. He swallowed and scowled, muttering something that sounded a lot like curses against "the devil's secreted cow juice". He probably didn't even know he was saying it aloud.

"Not something that's charred." Edward nodded in answer.

"I don't- oh, whatever!" Roy exclaimed.

The group fell into silence as they waited for the medication to take affect. Hughes sat on the couch near Edward and Roy took an armchair by the couch. Alphonse resigned himself to sitting on the floor in front of the couch so that he could watch Edward, who had finished the pie and gone back to warding off his headache.

Edward was feeling weighed down and heavy after a while. His limbs felt like they were tied down by led weights. His brain was growing fuzzier the minute, slowly dulling his senses that were still functioning.

* * *

Time passed in a silent blur. Alphonse's head shot up when there was a quiet snore. Edward's mouth was cracked open slightly, and Alphonse could easily tell that the snore was escaping from Edward's parted lips.

"The medication seems to make you drowsy," Roy supplied. "We can wake him."

"No," Alphonse wished that he could smile at the sight of his brother sleeping on the Colonel's sofa. "He needs the sleep."

"Do you want me to help you take him up to the guest room?" Hughes asked his friend, already rising to his feet.

"Actually," Alphonse intervened before anyone could answer. "Can he stay on the couch? I'm sure that if we moved him now he'd wake up."

"Yeah, of course he can stay," Roy assured.

"Lay him down, and we can lay a blanket over him," Hughes added after Roy said that.

"Okay, sir." Alphonse gently eased Edward's body down so that his brother could lay flat on the sofa.

Edward groaned, and everyone froze as he repositioned himself onto his side. Hughes grabbed the throw blanket that laid over the back of the couch and draped it over Edward's sleeping form.

"He looks so young when he's asleep," Roy commented in a sort of awe. He had seen Edward asleep at the hospital, but he had been quite pale, only looking paler because of the white light. Now in a real house, despite whose house it was, he looked healthier and less stressed, not healthy but healthier. Add to that that Edward had mostly been unconscious and not really truly sleeping. The sleep he was in now may have been introduced by a drug, but it was a more relaxed look that graced Edward's features.

"No, Roy, he looks his age," Maes corrected. Roy nodded. It really was hard sometimes to grasp that Edward was just a kid. It was just not a word Roy would unconsciously associate with Edward. Neither would he associate it with him consciously.

Hughes smiled down at the sleeping boy and rested a hand on Alphonse's back. "Roy, well, I'll leave you to give the tour. I have to get home to my wonderful girls. Will you walk out with me, Roy? We need to talk."

Roy nodded after looking to Alphonse, who looked slightly awkward. "Yeah. Alphonse, I'll be back in a minute to show you around."

"That's fine, sir."

Roy followed Maes as his friend went to the door. As soon as they were outside and the door was shut Maes sighed. "Roy, I'm guessing that you haven't told Ed yet."

Roy wanted to play dumb but knew Maes would _not_ be pleased with him if he did. "I swear, Hughes, I'm going to tell him, but do you really think that this is easy? I don't think he would want to hear that from me."

"Roy," Maes snapped, surprising Roy. "You should have told him right after finding out about it. He deserves to know, and holding back that information isn't going to help any! He's been discharged, Roy. There isn't any going back. Tell him before he figures it out. You know he's smart."

"I know," Roy sighed. "I know. I'll tell him."

"Good. And I wanted you to know that if you need anything while the boys are staying with you, call me. _Any_ time you need, just call me. You already know that, though." Maes clapped Roy on the back and made his way down the sidewalk.

"Wait! What about your car?" Roy asked. Maes turned back.

"It's still at the hospital."

"I know. I was about to ask if you want a ride there," Roy offered.

"No, I can walk, and you've got those boys, remember?" Maes said through a smile.

"Yeah, I remember."

* * *

Alphonse was slightly curious as to what the Colonel and Mr. Hughes were talking about. He wasn't planning on eavesdropping, of course. He was just curious.

It was unintentional, but Alphonse found his hand on Edward's. He couldn't feel it so he was surprised to see that he had put it there.

Edward stirred at the touch. His eyes opened a little. There was a short pause from Edward before he spoke. "...Alphonse?"

Alphonse gently caressed Edward's hand with his giant thumb. "Go back to sleep," Alphonse said softly, though uselessly.

Edward's eyes closed again as if he had actually heard Alphonse, which he hadn't.

Alphonse let go of Edward's hand, causing Edward a moment of confusion, based on the expression on his face. It disappeared when Alphonse placed his hand on Edward's cheek. His eyes fluttered open again, falling shut with a sigh as he confirmed the touch to be Alphonse's. As Edward drifted back into the blissful unconsciousness, Alphonse's leather gauntlet thumb caressed his brother's unburned cheek.

"Sleep tight," Alphonse hummed.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the wait. I've rewritten the ending in five different ways and finally settled on this one. Also, I've been sort of busy.

Thank you so much for the response! Please review!

-UNAU/IME


	19. Chapter 19

Edward felt sort of like a glob of jam. It was an odd representation of what he felt but somewhat accurate.

His body felt completely disconnected. It was like floating. It was kind of nice not to feel anything for awhile. Then he shifted, and that was _not _nice. It was painful. It was like he fell down from the height he was floating on in a very painful, ungraceful fashion.

Edward sucked in a long breath through clenched teeth, shuddering. The pain subsided ever-so-slightly. He settled down, not even realising that he'd been writhing because of the pain. That had only made the whole thing worse in the long run, though.

A hand reached out and gently touched Edward's shoulder. No matter how gentle the touch was it still made him jump. He was not prepared for a surprising touch from someone behind him. He felt chills crawl up his spine and saw memories fade in and out of focus under the black fog in his mind. Edward's eyes stayed closed in an attempt at maintaining his sleepiness and dullness of mind. It also may have been to tell the owner of the hand to back off.

It very clearly wasn't Alphonse so it was either Mustang's hand or Hughes's. The fifty percent chance that that could be Mustang was enough to make Edward uncomfortable.

* * *

Roy had his hand hovering over Edward. He didn't touch him, but he was ready to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. The voice in his head kept telling himself that the next time Edward groaned he'd lay his hand on him just to calm him down, but his body decided "no".

Edward groaned, but Roy told himself, _next time, I'll do it next time._ It went like that too many times. Roy sighed exhaustedly at his cowardice. He just ever-so gently placed his hand on Edward's shoulder.

The kid jumped a little. He shivered and froze. _No, please don't have a flashback! I am so stupid!_ _Please, don't trigger anything!_

"Mis- m- mister Hu- Hughes..." Edward's voice was so quiet, Roy wasn't sure he actually heard him. It certainly didn't sound like him. His face was pointing into the back of the couch so even if he opened his eyes, which he hadn't done yet, he wouldn't be able to see for himself. He probably thought Roy was Hughes because of Maes's natural fatherly instincts.

Roy picked up his own hand. He had to answer Edward. On the kid's shoulder, he wrote "N-O".

Edward's reaction surprised him. The boy pulled away at lightning speed and curled up on himself, whimpering. He was most likely completely unaware of noise escaping him.

Edward lifted his hand shakily and started writing something on the back of the sofa. Roy watched as the words "G-O A-W-A-Y" were spelled out.

"N-O", Roy wrote on Edward's shoulder again.

Edward pulled away. He started spelling out another word. All he got to was "L-E" before Roy knew what Edward was trying to say. He was so confused. Should he listen and go, or was he supposed to stay? He had no idea what was appropriate in this situation. Was he being incredibly rude for no reason? Edward wanted to be alone, and he wasn't letting him be alone.

Roy left Edward on the couch and went to an arm chair right by the sofa. Tension that Roy hadn't noticed before melted off of Edward. His shoulders sagged tiredly.

It was about ten minutes later that Edward was rolling over to face the open living-room and not just the back of the couch. He, by this time, had opened his eyes and was scanning the room with curiosity. When his eyes fell on Roy, he scowled and grunted in annoyance.

Edward sat up. He held in winces of pain at the movement. He mumbled something under his breath and looked up at Roy.

Roy just shrugged. He had no idea what Edward had just said. He didn't even know if it was meant for him. It probably wasn't very clean if it was for him.

Edward looked thoroughly annoyed at Roy. "The bathroom! Where is it?!" He glared at Roy as he pointed down the hall to a room. Well, it wasn't explicit.

Edward was on his unstable feet in seconds. He slowly made his way towards the restroom. He was coming dangerously close to tipping over.

Roy stood up and took Edward under the elbow. He couldn't exactly let his charge rip open stitches by falling about. Edward ripped his arm away putting several steps between them before he fell face first towards the ground. He yelped in surprise.

Roy arms moved on their own. He grabbed Edward around his waist and held him.

Edward squirmed and fought against the arms. "Let me go!" He shouted angrily, trying to bite Roy's hand in an effort to give himself freedom.

"Stop that, Fullmetal!" Roy wasn't about to drop Edward, and trying to avoid being bitten was tricky. He may have been the most uncertain about this whole situation, but he knew enough not to drop Edward.

"Don't touch me!! You're such a creep!!leave me alone!!" Edward went limp in Roy's arms, nearly giving him a heart attack. He laid Edward on the ground only to find Edward glaring up at him. Pain was in his eyes and covering his face. His ribs must be in agony. _Why won't he just listen? Why does be have to act tough?_

"Fullmetal! I thought you had fainted!" Roy was annoyed at the kid for that. He had seriously thought that they might have had to rush to the hospital right after getting Edward out of there. He was not interested in all the doctors knowing that he couldn't even watch out for a kid for one single day

"I said not to touch me," Edward hissed. He slowly got to his feet, pushing away any help that was offered.

Watching Edward limp away with a scowl on his face, Roy sighed. This was going to be impossible if Edward kept acting like he was. Roy knew Edward was proud, but he needed to accept some help. Roy knew that he was being a hypocrite thinking that because in Edward's place, he knew he would be the same.

Edward slammed the bathroom door. He immediately reached out and hooked onto the ceramic sink as he nearly fell over. He was so stiff and sore everywhere, and everything hurt. It wasn't as bad as when he first woke up, but it was still painful.

He held his breath to listen for any breaths outside or any slight shuffles that would give someone away if they were standing on the other side of the door.

There was nothing. _Of course there was nothing! You're deaf, idiot!_

Edward listened to nothing. It was complete, terrifying lonely silence. It was too much. Never again! Never again would he hear anything!

A choked sob that could no longer be held in escaped his throat. It had been a whole week. That was too long! He wanted it to stop, but he couldn't fix this. It was almost painful to come to that realisation. Why? Why did this have to happen? He had lost so much! Where was equivalent exchange?

* * *

Roy sat at his kitchen table where he was close to a phone and where he was still close enough to be there for Edward if something were to happen -something else. He had tried to stay near to the kid but seriously didn't think it was possible after hearing the kid sob. It had been fast and didn't last long but it happened. Roy couldn't stand hearing it and to think it was only going to get worse. He had so many obstacles. One of them was the conversation about Edward's honourable discharge which he swore to himself had to happen tonight. It would probably be hard on Edward for awhile, but he couldn't be left in the dark about this any longer. It was bad enough that Roy was waiting until a after dinner so that he could be sure Edward ate.

"Where is Alphonse?" That question alerted Roy of Edward's entrance. He had heard the boy coming because he was not very quiet. You couldn't blame him, though. He couldn't hear every -or any- loud thud and clank of his feet. He couldn't hear the obvious heavy favouring of his left foot.

Roy looked up to see Edward there in the door frame. "He isn't here," Edward noted.

"Fullmetal, there is no way you looked everywhere around the house, but to answer your question, your brother went on a walk."

Edward's face showed something similar to embarrassment and confusion. He looked away and started to stumble out of the room. Roy quickly stood and gripped Edward's arm before leading him to the kitchen table, which Edward was far from pleased about. He was glaring daggers at Roy.

"I said not to touch me."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Edward, how are either of us supposed to survive the week living together if you hate everything I do to help?"

"I don't want your help." Edward crossed his arms with a wince and huffed.

"So Alphonse is the only one who you will trust?" Roy questioned the boy. Edward gave Roy a confused look yet again.

"It makes more sense than trusting _you_. I'll find him myself and you _won't_ help me." Roy wasn't aware that that could possibly sting so bad until he heard the words. It wasn't that they weren't truthful. In a way, they were some of the most obviously truthful words Roy had heard in a while.

Edward turned his head downcast to look at the wood grain and rings that swirled around under his fingers. He had lost his hearing, but at least he had his sight. He wouldn't trade the two out.

The Doctors had done an extensive search of his eyes. They were looking for heat damage, possible scars on the cornea, or damage to the other innermost workings of the eye. No one wanted to deal with a deaf kid with melting eyes so they were definitely relieved to have found nothing that showed any damage from the explosion.

Edward sighed. He had no idea where Alphonse was. He hadn't understood Mustang when he had said it. There were too many words so he had no idea what he was supposed to focus on. If they had all been focused on the exact same thing it would have been a lot easier.

A piece of paper was slipped between Edward's gaze and the table. On it was Mustang's handwriting. _I'm making dinner. Any requests? _Edward shook his head. Mustang stood beside him and started searching through cabinets and the fridge for ingredients. He piled them on the counter by the stove and pulled out a few pans.

* * *

"Fullmetal, why are you eyeing the food so weirdly?" Mustang asked the kid as Edward looked up at him with a funny look.

"I don't know... I just expected something different," Edward answered, stabbing a few mouthfuls worth of roasted potatoes and garlic and bringing it to his mouth.

"Like what?" Roy put down his fork and sighed. He honestly dreaded the answer.

Edward swallowed and thought for a second. "Something more... blackened? Charred? Burned beyond recognition?"

"I'm not that bad at cooking!" Roy was shocked by everyone's disbelief in his culinary skills. He had made a decent meal of sausages and roasted potatoes and carrots in garlic. "Hughes was exaggerating!"

Edward went back to his food, looking very confusing and a little upset. He poked at his sausage before stabbing it with the fork and eating it off of the fork. "Umm, I didn't understand you earlier... When you said where Al went..."

Roy was surprised that Edward had waited so long to tell him that. After thinking about how proud Edward was, it wasn't all that surprising. It was actually more surprising that he had said anything about it. He probably fought every instinct in him to say what he just said.

Roy nodded and slowly repeated what he said earlier about Alphonse going out for a walk.

Edward bowed his head and muttered, "'kay..." He returned to eating his food to drown out the tenseness of the surrounding air.

Roy sighed and ate a few more bites of his dinner. He looked up at the sound of a gasp the clattering of Edward's fork.

Edward was clutching his left ear, his face twisted in pain. The pain on his face eased away slowly.

Roy was reaching over the table when Edward said, "Can I go to bed now?"

Mustang froze. He sighed and nodded as Edward looked up. "Let me take you up. Alphonse already took up your stuff." He was exhausted himself. It hadn't even been very physically challenging. It was more of a mental hassle because it was almost like dealing with another person. Edward was acting so wrong. It gave him the creeping feeling of fear. What if Edward didn't start acting like himself again? What if he was stuck afraid and confused?

Roy wanted desperately for this to go quickly. He wanted to escape the guilt weighing down on his back. That was the plan all along.

Edward looked at him, waiting for Roy to take the lead. He looked tired, but there was something Roy had to do. It couldn't keep being pushed back. "Fullmetal?"

* * *

Edward held in a wince, he felt a stabbing pain in his ears. After the grafting in his ears he was surprised to find it painful to chew things. The apple pie from earlier had been fine because it was perfect and fell apart in your mouth. Sweet, gooey apple spread around your mouth and melted. You didn't have to even work that hard to chew.

He just wanted to go up and sleep in a real bed even after sleeping on the couch for awhile. It was just very unnatural to be sleeping here at the Colonel's house. Why was it even necessary? One week in the dorm with Alphonse wasn't going to kill him. He had stayed there on countless medical leaves. It was just that this time Edward was apparently a kid freak that couldn't be handled by just his younger brother.

"Yes," he said, signaling the Colonel to go on. It took a lot of effort not to be just a little bit snippy at him.

Roy's mouth started to move, but Edward stopped trying to figure it out when a single word that was nothing compared to the others unraveled from the Colonel's mouth.

_Discharged_.

Edward knew immediately that he was going to be discharged from the military. It was obvious. Why hadn't he thought of that? Of course he would be discharged. The military wasn't interested in faulty weapons.

He felt numb. He could only think of one thing now. _Al_. How would he help Al? All that work for nothing and now he couldn't do anything! He was so useless to Alphonse. He had failed him so horribly on multiple occasions, and he knew it couldn't be fixed this time.


End file.
